If you care at all, you'll be happy to know that I've calmed way the fuck down about the whole thing with J. I've come to the conclusion that it really was my inner relationship phobic freak trying to get me to run from yet another decent guy. But! Thanks to some nice comments from you people and a lot of writing about the whole situation, both in here and in my super secret for my eyes only personal journal (which you should be really happy you don't have to read, because the last day's entries are like what I posted in here times 1,000), I've opened my mind back up, calmed down and am letting things continue on once again. Who knows, I may actually turn into a real grown-up who can have a relationship that lasts longer than a month. Maybe.
Also, I wasn't kidding about mouse season being open. I came home from work yesterday to find a dead mouse on the floor in front of my bathroom door. I don't know if it was the one I rescued, who was stupid enough to come back in, or if it was one of his friends or relatives, but either way, it was dead. Luckily, it was just dead and not torn apart. It's a good thing I'm not squeamish about dead rodents, though. I picked it up with some toilet paper, threw it into the weeds outside, threw the paper into the recycling bin and that was that. I'm just wondering if I should bother to keep a head count this year, since the cats are starting so early in the season. I think I'm afraid to see how big that number could get by spring.
Anyway, thanks once again for reading my blathering, and for being my sounding board when I'm freaking out. I'm glad Sarah talked me into starting this blog a year ago. It's good therapy! :)
Less noise, more me
1 week ago
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2 comments:
When I first started dating Trevor over four years ago (OMW, has it really been that long???) I had the same thing happen to me (and by that I mean I panicked). He was such a nice guy and so much more into me than I was him. I completely over thought the entire situation. Plus, it was complicated because I met him the summer before I started grad school, and I think I wasn't letting myself fall for him because I was too worried he'd break up with me once we got into the whole long distance thing. He didn't break up with me though, and I finally started trusting him. Not to say we don't have our problems, but time goes by and you get to know each other better. Whoever came up with the whole cliché, "Time will only tell" really knew what they were talking about. Anyway, I'm glad you've taken a step back and are willing to give this J guy another chance. I really think you have nothing to lose at this point. Just have fun and see where it takes you...
Thanks, Deals! It's really nice to know that I'm not the only person that freaks out about this kind of thing, and it's especially nice to hear that you've been with Trevor for four years, despite your panicking in the beginning. J is a really great guy, and is absolutely hands down the most thoughtful, romantic guy I've ever dated. Flowers, cards in the mail "just because" and small gifts almost every time I see him. He's worth taking the time to see if it works.
Now I just need to remember that the next time I freak out. :)
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