Ick, Ick, Ick!

J wasn't home with me last night - he stayed in Syracuse because of work. So I spent the night with the critters, playing the Sims and watching TV/DVDs. Finally the time came to head off to bed, so I closed things down and headed into the bathroom to get ready.

I walk in and head to the toilet, looking over the toilet at the wall and ceiling, like I always do, to check for spiders. It's all clear, so I sat down and peed, then got up and washed my hands.

I need a spider detection system upgrade or something, because what did I see on the curtain? The curtain that is right next to the toilet and mere inches from the sink where I was standing? You guessed it, a HUGE fucking spider.

I gasped, said "oh, fuck me," and walked out of the bathroom, shaking a little and maybe even hyperventilating mildly. I HATE spiders. Hate. Hate, hate, hate. Then I said, "why do these things always show themselves when J isn't here? Fuck."
Then I manned up, grew a pair (figuratively, not literally), went into the mudroom and fetched the vacuum cleaner, and went into the bathroom, fully armed and ready to do battle. I plugged that vacuum in, I put the extender wand on the hose (the spider was perched too high for just the regular hose), I took a deep breath to gather my courage, and then I vacuumed that fucker up.

He tried to get away. He heard the noise (I assume spiders can hear), he saw the wand coming at him, and he scurried. I jumped and almost ran, but I regathered my strength, and I sucked that fucker up. And then I vacuumed the curtains some more, just because. And then I put the hose, with wand extender still attached, back in its hole on the vacuum, and then I let it run for a minute, just to make sure that horrible, ugly, menacing creature was way down in that vacuum cleaner bag.

(Oh, and this right here is why I won't have a bagless vacuum anytime soon. If I had sucked him up in a bagless, I would have been able to SEE him scurrying around in that canister. Uh, no thanks. I want all of the spiders I suck into the vacuum cleaner to be surrounded by dirt, dog and cat hair and dark, until they slowly asphyxiate and die a horrible death.)

Anyway. So I won that battle, but now the ghost of that damn spider is going to be hanging out on my bathroom curtains for all time, just like it's cousin, who was once on the cabinet doors right in front of the toilet while I was sitting there doing my thing. If you know what I mean, and I think you do. (There's an entry about that in this here blog, which I'd link to if I could find it, but I don't feel like searching for it, sorry.)

I didn't even want to go into the bathroom to pee this morning. Ick. (I did, though.)

Stupid fucking spiders. Sigh.