Fighting the Toughest Foe - Me

Losing weight is such a constant struggle. It seems like it should be as easy to take it off as it was to put it on, but it just isn’t, as anyone who has ever had to lose weight knows. Whether you need to drop five pounds or 155, it’s a constant battle from the time you start until the time you get to your goal (and the fight doesn’t really end there, because you still have to maintain).

I don’t have 155 pounds to lose, thankfully, but I have way more than five. I started this struggle weighing about 80 pounds more than I want to. In the last three months I’ve lost 16 pounds, so I have a ways still to go.

So, if this is a fight, who am I battling? It feels like I should put a face to this foe of mine, but really, the only face I can give it is my own. I self-sabotage. Not all the time, thankfully, or the fight would be over before it started. But every once in a while my resolve falls, and I mess up.

This happened to me last week. I had set myself a goal of getting to a certain weight by July 4th, and it became clear last week that I wasn’t going to get there. I had hoped for it so much, and was working so hard, but it just wasn’t going to happen. So I gave up. I ate whatever I wanted, didn’t exercise, and didn’t worry about it. Luckily this only happened for a few days, and then I got back on track this last Monday. I’m doing really well, have worked out for two nights in a row, and will work out again tonight. And I actually weighed myself this morning, and I’m only a half pound higher right now than I was when my meltdown started, so I’m happy.

So now that goal I was working for won’t be reached by Saturday the 4th, obviously, and it might not be reached by my birthday in two weeks, either, but I’m getting closer. I know that I’ll get there, and then I’ll go past it, and I’m not worried about dates anymore. I’m learning all the time while I struggle to take weight off, and this was just the latest of the things I’ve learned.

The fight is back on. I’ve laced up my boxing gloves, I’m doing my dance around my opponent, to keep her (me) from knocking me down. I’m in this fight for the long haul. That 16 pound loss will turn to 20, then 25, then 30 and so on until the 80 is completely gone. I keep going back and forth on what I want my goal weight to be – I have a 10 pound range. Whether I end up in the upper end of the range, the lower end, or somewhere in the middle, I’ll be happy.

It’s a fight worth giving my all to, for sure. And I’m determined to win. That opponent of mine can keep knocking me down, but I’ll keep getting up and fighting back. As long as I get up more than she knocks me down, I’ll have won.