Warning: Mushiness Ahead, Proceed at Your Own Risk

I missed updating yesterday. Oops. So now, even though it's May, and my obligation to update every day is over (not that I made it, but the double posting days make up for the days I didn't post at all, right? Sure they do), I'm posting today. This is fair warning, though - I'm feeling mushy, about the one person in my life I get mushy over, so if that kind of stuff nauseates you, don't read this (Sarah :P).

So. I was having a rough afternoon yesterday. I was hormonal, I think, because I felt the need to eat everything that wasn't nailed down, and I felt very uncomfortable in my own skin as a result. I'm also completely broke right now. I only got $14 in gas the other day, because it was just enough to get me through until payday, and I needed to get cat food (and I only had $21). My cats weren't going to make it until the weekend on what they had.

Well, yesterday after work, J and I went out to dinner at Denny's (did I get something light, to make up for earlier? No, I got chicken tenders and fries - I make no sense even to myself). After dinner was over, we stopped at Walmart so that J could get a wire (cable, whatever) to plug his mp3 player into a boom box. After he found his cord (wire, cable, whatever), we walked over to the cat food aisle. I was debating between the small bag and the medium bag. I was going to pick up the medium bag, because it was $7.12, and I had $7 and change in my wallet. It would leave me sans cash until, well, probably until June or so, since I'll still be broke in May (due to car repairs this time) but whatever. At least the cats would eat. J pointed out the 20 pound bag, and I told him I couldn't afford that - I only had $7. And he picked one up and walked away, and paid for it at the register.

And that seems like a small thing, but you know what? I haven't had anyone to help me like that in years. No, not to help me, but to take care of me, because that's what it felt like. And I almost started to cry (again, hormonal). And it's not really about the cat food - it's about all of it. He loves me, honest to god LOVES me, like no one has loved me since my Mom (only in a different way, duh). I was 37 before I met him. I thought I would be alone forever. I'm 38 now (almost 39), and not only am I not alone, but I've found the person I've been looking for my whole life - the one who loves me no matter what, the one who wants to take care of me and protect me. The one who would do anything for me. And the best part is, I feel the same way about him. And maybe I only appreciate that feeling so much because I lived for so long without it, I don't know. But I do appreciate it, very much. I appreciate HIM very much.

I love him very much.

Okay, mushy post over. I'll go back to normal next time I write, okay? Okay.