Blah

It's been a strange couple of days. Let's go in order, shall we?

Wednesday
I get home from work to find something leaking from under my car. After searching the Internet futiley in an attempt to find out what it could be, I called my brother-in-law and described it to him. He thought it might be a brake fluid leak, so he told me not to drive it. I arranged a ride into work on Thursday morning and left the key in the car where he could find it - he said he would come over on Thursday to take a look.

Thursday
Somehow, miraculously, I get up at 5:17 in the morning. I take care of the animals, I put on my workout gear (which at this point is just old pajamas, plus good sneakers), and I do my aerobics tape. In the morning! I was so proud of myself. I felt like it was the best exercise I had done since I started working out a week before. I did the whole tape, I only stopped a couple of times, and I felt like it was actually beneficial.

Then I got ready for work, early, and I sat in the living room and waited until my ride came to pick me up, which she did at about 7:15. And I had so much energy all morning! I was on fire, getting so much done, and I didn't really get tired until about 2:30 or so. Then I pretty much crashed that night.

When I got home, I had a message from my brother-in-law, telling me it had been a gas line leak. He has replaced the damaged section, and I owed him $7. Woo! Thanks, B-I-L.

That night J and I watched the new Futurama DVD, and I was so exhausted that I basically half slept through the end. Exercising in the morning made me feel great in the beginning of the day, but I was wiped out at the end!

Friday
My day off from exercising, so I slept until the normal time, then had an unremarkable workday. Well, unremarkable except that I got my yearly raise. Woo! I love that. Of course, it all went on bills, just like normal.

Friday afternoon/evening. J gets home, and we decide to put off getting groceries until Sunday, but, since it's cheat day (the one day per week when we can eat fattening stuff) how does pizza sound? Well, it sounds pretty freaking great, so I call in our order, put Willow in my car, and she and I go to get it.

We get there fine, I find a parking space not too horribly far away, and I pick up our pizza and cheese sticks. I go back to the car and get in, start her up, and start to drive home. I get just outside of the town where the pizza place is, and suddenly my car starts acting weird. I step on the gas pedal, and it doesn't accelerate. I can't get it past 35, and then when it does go past 35, it won't go past 45 at all, and when I come to a small hill, it won't make the top because it doesn't have any power. So I turn around and limp my way to a public ball park, where I park in their lot and call J to come get me. Then I call AAA to come tow my car away. Sigh.

J gets there while I'm on the phone with AAA, and once the arrangements are made (after a few phone calls to various places), we stand outside of the car and eat our cheese sticks, and J has some pizza (I didn't have any, because my stomach is a little upset from nerves - stupid car). The tow truck comes, it takes my little red car away, and J and I drive home, where I spend the evening in a funk, because who knows what's wrong with my car, or how much it's going to cost to fix it, and damn it! I was just going to have my first month where I'd be able to catch up. All of my little bills are going to be paid off, and I was going to actually be able to have some extra left at the end of the month to help with household things. And now the freaking car is broken down. I don't know why life has to work this way (or at least my life), but I hate it.

But J is really nice and comforting, which I really appreciate, and I'm feeling okay by the time we go to bed. (Thanks, J.)

Saturday morning
I'm here at home, waiting for the garage to call me to tell me what's wrong with my car and how much it's going to cost to fix it. I have about $90 in my checking account. What are the odds of it costing less than that? Pretty damn slim. My only ray of hope is that I'm supposed to be getting my economic stimulus check - here's hoping it comes today.

Update
I just got done working out, and I am covered and sweat and need a shower, but Rosebud is outside, so while I wait for her to come in, here's an update on the car.

The mechanic called when I was just starting my workout, and told me that my fuel pump was bad. It was going to cost me $362 plus labor and probably plus a fuel filter to get the car back on the road. Crap! I took that in, started my exercise tape back up, only to have him call back about five minutes after his first call. I had told him about my BIL replacing part of the fuel line, so he put the car up on the lift. My BIL had clamped off the fuel line and not taken the clamp off. My car is fine and the mechanic is only charging me $50 for his time.

Whew!

And how much do I trust this mechanic now? A less honest man would have charged me for the fuel pump anyway, but he didn't. Love it! So now I'm going to go shower, and since J is at work, I'm going to see if my sister can pick me up, take me to an ATM to get $50, and then take me to pick up my car. Yay! Thanks, honest repairman!

And now I must go shower. The sweat is annoying. Later!

Updates

So, I'm still exercising. I decided to do every other day until my body adjusted, so I've only actually done the workout three times, but I really do feel like I'm about ready to start doing it every day. Yesterday was my day off from working out, but in the middle of the afternoon I was very high energy and would have done it anyway, if I'd been home. Of course, by the time I got home from work, the urge had passed. :)

I think I want to try getting the workout in before work, though - it just depends on two things. One: can I get myself out of bed at 5:30 (no later, or I'll be late for work) to do it? Two: can I do it without bothering J, who would still be in bed sleeping at 5:30? Sure, I can turn the sound down on the TV, and I can not clap along when they do, but I'll still be bouncing around and gasping for air and stuff. I'll talk to him about it.

I've also been doing fairly well in eating less overall, and I've done really well in eating less junk food. I still have work to do in this area, though. Yesterday I was really good at lunchtime - they had cheese sticks at work, but I ate my turkey sandwich instead, and I had enough money to buy a candy bar, but I didn't. But then when I got home, I ate dinner without J, because he was at work, and I just can't be trusted to eat at home alone. I had some leftover angel hair pasta, which was fine, except that I took twice as much as I should have. Still, not too bad. But then I had two pieces of bread and butter. And an ice cream bar. And, since I forgot to put the bread back, and it was right in front of me, and I love bread, I had a piece (dry, no margarine). WAY too much food. So I'm going to try to do better with that today.

It's kind of frustrating, though. I know I've only done three workouts so far, and I know that muscles retain water for a while when you first start working out, but I can't help but be disapppointed that the scale not only doesn't show a loss, but it is still showing a gain. I wasn't letting it bother me, but now it kind of is. I don't expect miracles, but I would just like to see the number come down a little. Maybe it will start to once I'm working out every day (and when I get myself more in control at home at night).

In non-weight loss/exercise related news, my spider bite is still there. J said it looked a bit better last night. Also, when I went to bed last night, I checked my room over carefully looking for that spider. I checked the walls, the ceiling, the wall behind the bed, and of course I pulled back the sheet and looked there. There was no sign of the stupid thing. Sigh. Of course, that didn't stop me from dreaming about it last night (in my dream it was caught and killed).

Okay, that's all for now. Later, taters!

(Behind) My Left Knee

I discovered something unusual on the back of my left knee this morning. When I got out of the shower, it hurt to run the towel over it. It's kind of hard to see the back of my own knee, so I twisted my leg and craned my head and saw a circle of red, angry looking skin - a bump, really. I don't know why, but my mind instantly decided it might be a blood clot just under the skin.

I went to the bedroom, where J was just getting up (I knew this, because McDuff had started barking a minute before). I asked him to look at my leg. "It hurt when I ran my towel over the back of my leg, so I looked and saw this red bump, and it looked like a blood clot!" He told me of course it wasn't a blood clot, and took a look.

"It looks like a bug bite," he said. "It's raised up and red and there is a black dot in the middle of it." The s word may have been used, but I instantly cringed and shook my head. No, it can't be.

I came into work, and looked up "large bug bites" on Google. I found an exact description of my bump - it's a spider bite. Which means a spider was in my BED with me, while I was sleeping, crawling around on me. *shudder*

I'd almost rather it was a blood clot.

Beauty

This was the view of the hay field across the street while I was mowing the lawn today. It would be a better shot if I had finished mowing the lawn in front of me before I took the picture, but still. Sometimes the countryside around me just takes my breath away. There is beauty everywhere you look.

Strawberries!

This morning I drove to the farm stand and bought three quarts of the most delicious strawberries in the world. What makes them better than the ones in the store? Well, I don't know, but I think it's the fact that they get to ripen on the vine, before they're picked and carried to the stand, where I go and buy them. They aren't picked early, they aren't driven across the country in the back of a truck - they go directly from the field to the stand to my mouth. Mmm. I love them a lot. In fact, I think they may just be my favorite food in the world, made all the more special because they're only around for a short time in June. Yum yum yum.

So, before I drove to the farm stand, I got up this morning at about 8:00 (after a very weird dream) and took care of the dogs, and then I got myself ready and I worked out! I didn't do my exercise tape last night, because I was too sore and tired, but I think the rest did me good, because I did it this morning, and I am already much better. I stopped four times instead of the five times I stopped the first time, and I did the whole tape, whereas last time I didn't do the highest energy jumping around stuff. Also, I think I wasn't as close to dying in those four times that I stopped as I was the first time, so I really am getting better. (And actually, the first time I stopped was only for water - I didn't feel like I was dying yet at all.)

I'm really glad to be doing this workout thing again, too. I hate doing it, but I sure do love how I feel while I'm doing it and then after. I feel better about myself, I feel physically better and I feel stronger. It's a very rewarding thing. It's just too bad that usually the rewards are hard to see through the hatred.

Anyway. So I'm having a good day so far. I've got berries (one quart for eating and two for shortcake, yum), I worked out and feel good, and now I'm having a lunch of strawberries and Melba Toast and I'm starting to relax and play the Sims. I still need to vacuum and do some laundry and eventually I need to force myself to go out and mow the lawn, but for now I can relax. It's a good Saturday.

And tomorrow J will be home from work, and we're going to go to see
Get Smart, which I'm looking forward to, so all in all I think it is going to be a great weekend. I hope you all have great ones, too. And go eat some fresh strawberries if you can.

Oh, and I wanted to leave you with one more picture. Sorry about the weird angle, but you all know that while Gracie was wearing her cast, she was living in a dog crate. She spent three months in it, so you'd think now that she's free, she wouldn't want anything to do with the crate, right? Wrong. Check it out - sometimes she goes into Bernie's crate just to hang out (actually, so does Lucy).

Update to the Previous (see below)

I did it! I came home (after going to the dump to drop off the recyclables, only to find that they close at 3:00! What the heck), let the dogs out and in, fed them, changed my clothes and worked out. Woo! I did the beginner's aerobics tape that I mentioned - the Jane Fonda one - and I feel great! Of course, I had to stop five times, and I couldn't do all of the higher energy aerobics part (yes, I am that out of shape), but I did it! I sweated, I panted, Zelda and McDuff were all over me when I was doing the floor exercises (Zelda apparently likes the smell of sweat, and Duff was wondering why the heck I was on the floor and wanted to kiss me), and when I got done I had to take a shower so I would stop smelling.

But I did it. Woo! I'm going to be so sore tomorrow.

Girly Revisited

Yesterday I left work half an hour early to run some errands, one of which included going to Walmart to get cat litter, cat food and cat treats (I hate when they run out of everything in the same week). And while I was there, I finally bought a bottle of nail polish and some polish remover! So when I got home, after the dogs had been out and in and fed and the water dish had been refilled a couple of times, I painted my nails. Amazing!

I don't feel like taking pictures, and you probably don't care that much anyway, so I'll just tell you that the color I got is called Cocoa Motion (you'll find it in the browns, if you follow the link to see it), and it doesn't look nearly as purple on my nails as it looks on screen. I like it. Now I'm thinking I may have to buy some other colors, too.

And look at that, I really am a girl! :D

So this isn't a girly thing really, but while I was at Walmart I was also looking for a product that I used to eat years ago, but had forgotten all about, and I couldn't find it anywhere in that whole huge store. Do people still eat Melba Toast? Apparently people who shop at Walmart don't, but I did find it at P&C, woo! I'm trying to watch what I eat and maybe lose a few pounds before my birthday, and Melba Toast is a low calorie, low fat snack. It's dry and bland, but you know what? I like plain stuff, so I like it anyway.

Does eating Melba Toast mean I'm secretly an old woman? Because I swear, I'm only 38 (almost 39), and I don't feel old at all.

Also, I keep meaning to get out my old Jane Fonda aerobics tape, and I keep not doing it. Maybe tonight's the night. Leslie Lillian can sing to me while I curse her name under the breath that I won't have because I'm so out of shape.

It may or may not happen tonight, but I will be getting that tape out soon. I'm already doing better at not snacking so freaking much, so I'm getting there. I have a desire to be even more girly by starting to wear dresses and skirts again. The only problem is, I won't show my legs to anyone other than J right now. Sigh. I can do it, right? Yeah. I've done it before, so I know I have it in me to be good and lose the weight. And the one time I did successfully lose a significant amount of weight (40 pounds, which at the time put me down to a positively skinny size 4), I did this tape at least five days a week, so I know it works. I just hate exercising so much! (In fact at the time I was doing the hour long advanced portion of the tape. I couldn't last five minutes in that portion now.) Oh well.

I'll just keep the image of the girly skirts and dresses in my mind, and see if it gets me through.

Dear Joe Bonamassa

Dear Joe:

I am tired today. I'm just not built for staying up late and getting up early in the morning. I can do it, but not well. But you know what? It was worth it. You were great in concert last night.

When J told me that he was getting us tickets to see you in concert, I'll be honest here - I had never heard of you. But J has the best taste in music of anyone I know, so I knew if he liked you enough to want to see you live, then you would put on a great show. But, I wanted to be familiar with you, so I added you to my Pandora radio station, and what do you know? I found out that I had already given some of your songs a thumbs up without even knowing who you were. So I was already on my way to liking you - I just didn't know it.

(Also, Had To Cry Today just came on my Pandora while I was writing this. Cool, huh?)

So anyway, I found that in the time since I became aware of you, I was liking your stuff more and more, so I was really excited for your show. Of course, I would have been excited anyway, because I just love doing fun things with J, and I love how excited he gets about good music. But I was especially excited to see you live because I was liking your music so much.

I have to tell you, Joe - you did not disappoint. I'm no musician (I played flute from 4th - 8th grade, but that's as close as I ever came to that title, and I think you'll agree it's still light years away), but I have to say, you are a phenomenal guitar player. I can see why you were voted Best Blues Guitarist for 2008 by Guitar Players' readers. You were amazing.

Oh, and hey - congratulations on losing 35 pounds. I'm trying to lose some weight myself, so I know how hard it is.

Anyway, I just wanted to say - great show. I really enjoyed it. And I may get to catch up on some of the sleep I missed tonight, after J and I watch Hell's Kitchen (our favorite TV show to watch together - it's a lot of fun). And yes, I know, your show wasn't that late, so I shouldn't be this tired. But I'm a wuss about sleep, okay? I need a certain amount per night, and even getting an hour less makes me tired all the next day. It's a fact about myself that I accepted years ago.

Okay. I'll sign off now. Thanks again. And J? Thanks for taking me to the show last night. I love you.

Signed,

Denise, a new fan of Joe's, who will definitely be drinking a soda this afternoon in an attempt to wake up.


Photo by J :)

Girly

I haven't painted my fingernails in years. Like, it's been so long that I can't even remember the last time I did it. I've thrown all of my nail polish away. And yet suddenly, over the last couple of days, I've been struck by the urge to paint my nails. I blame it on the fact that my index fingernail is actually a decent length - those nails always break really easily, so they're normally really short.

If the urge doesn't pass, I may be picking up a bottle of nail polish and some polish remover when I go to the drugstore later this week to get a prescription refilled.

Weird. It's like some part of my brain has suddenly remembered I'm a girl. Next thing you know, I'll be wearing make-up again. :)

Catching Up and Oh Man It's Hot Out There

Wow, long time no update, huh? That entry I wrote while I was out of town has been the most recent entry for so long, I figured I should finally get around to writing a new one.

Of course, I don't really have much to say. :) It's been crazy hot here the last few days, which sucks whenever you have to be outside. But J put a window air conditioner in the bedroom, so now we have someplace to go cool off when the rest of the house gets too hot. It was very nice to be able to turn it on at 4:00 this morning, when I woke up sweating. Of course, I about froze J right out of the bed, though. Hee. Sorry about that, J. We might just have to switch sides of the bed from now on whenever the AC needs to be on (it's in the window on his side of the bed).

Do you like the picture up there? I was sitting at my desk on Saturday, playing the Sims, and looked over to see Rosie and Duff laying down side by side, in the exact same position. It would be perfect if Duff's head was down on the floor like Rosie's (or if hers was up like his), but I thought it was still pretty darn cute.

The dogs spent a lot of Saturday in this position, although they mostly did it on the cooler floors. I don't know why they chose to lay on the rug, but I'm sure they had their reasons.

As for me, I spent a lot of Saturday sitting at my desk, playing the Sims. I wasn't a complete lazy slug, though - I also did a lot of laundry, and stripped and made the bed, and did the dishes, and cleaned the counters, and vacuumed a ton of Bernie hair (and some other animal hair) off the floors. It makes me feel better, on those lazy days, to at least do something of value.

And okay, it may be a week and a half since I've posted, but I'm still out of things to say, so that's all from me for now. Later, taters!

Away

I'm out of town today and half of tomorrow, on a work trip. I didn't have to go far - just a couple of hours away. The drive was nice, and for the first time in my life, I drove a vehicle larger than a small car! I took the work van, because my car needs new brakes and the mileage is getting kind of high - I don't want to take it on road trips anymore if I don't have to. So I'm driving the van. Which drives just like a car - I just had to get used to the height of it. No biggie. Although I keep reaching between the seats for the shifter, because that's where mine is - but on the van it's on the steering column. Hee.

We went out to dinner tonight after the meeting, and it was at a fancy restaurant, so I was afraid I wouldn't find anything to eat (I'm picky AND lactose intolerant, which is a fun combination sometimes), but they had chicken Marsala, so that was fine. I paid $18 just to eat a piece of chicken, but oh well. I can't help it if I would have been happier at Wendy's - most professional people would prefer the fancy place. I've just never been a fancy person. I did turn down the $6 brownie for dessert, though. It would have been yummy, I'm sure, but I can use the $6 to go to the movies, instead. :) Sex and the City comes out tomorrow, so I have plans to see that on Saturday. If I'm frugal enough, I'll be able to pay for the movie AND get lunch - but we'll have to go somewhere cheap to eat. Being broke isn't fun, but it does teach you how to stretch a dollar when you want to do something fun but your funds are limited.

And okay, I'm going to go lay in bed and find something to watch on TV. Good night, Internet. (And J, I miss you. I wish you were here.)

I Have a Secret

I have a secret. Every time my phone rings at work (especially in the afternoon), I secretly hope it's J calling me. And whenever it isn't (which is often, since I'm at work and people do sometimes call me about work stuff there, and also, J is also at work, and can't be calling my needy ass all day long), I get disappointed.

I'm such a sucker for a call from my man. Or a smile from him. Or a sarcastic word from him. I'll take whatever I can get. :)

(Yes, I know, you're all puking on your keyboards now. :P)

*****

Also, and this has nothing to do with the above whatsoever...someone at my work is going to see Billy Joel in concert with some friends. She has no idea who Billy Joel is or what he sings. She claims it's because she's 25 and spent her youth listening to rap, but that doesn't seem to be any kind of an excuse to me. How do you live in this world and not even know Piano Man? Or Uptown Girl or any of the other multiple hits he's had in the last three decades? That ticket is lost on her.

Memorial Day Weekend

My long weekend is almost done, which is sad, because it's been so great! Saturday I rearranged the living room, which took the whole morning, but I think it looks good now. Then that afternoon J and I went to my sister's house. She had a combination graduation/birthday party. Two of my nieces were graduating - one with her bachelor's degree, one with her RN nursing degree - and my great-niece turned five on Sunday. It was a lot of fun hanging out there, as always. We had burgers and hot dogs and cake.

Sunday was J's birthday, yay! Happy Birthday, J! I gave him his gifts in the morning, his parents came over to wish him a happy birthday, and then we went to see the new Indiana Jones movie in the afternoon. And it was great! I had been hearing some mixed reviews on it, but J and I both loved it. I wouldn't mind seeing it again, actually. And we got to have movie theater popcorn, woo! :)

And today we have hung out together watching DVDs, and we went mini-golfing earlier (I beat him by two strokes, which was total luck, but I'll take it), and J barbecued some chickn and some Hoffman's hot dogs, so life is good. And J has peanut butter pie for his birthday, since he's not really a cake lover, and since I don't like that, I have chocolate pie.

Happy Memorial Day, people. I hope yours was as good as mine.

Mix CD

Yesterday when I got home from work, I was greeted by my exhausted man, who had worked all the Wednesday night, and hadn't had any sleep since Tuesday night. He was worn right out. He wasn't too tired to surprise me with the sweetest present ever, though. He made me a mix CD. :)

As hard as it may be to believe, I have never received a mix CD (or tape) from a boyfriend before. Shoot, before J I didn't let anyone stick around long enough to do that kind of thing, I guess. I usually kicked them to the curb within two or three weeks, which is about how long it took for my relationship fears to kick in and send me into panic mode. So the fact that this is a new experience for me might make it that much more special, I don't know. All I know is that I love this CD.

It starts out with our song - You and Me, by Alice Cooper. It includes Spider Pig, from the Simpsons movie. It includes songs that we've heard at concerts we've gone to together, and songs that we both love. Mostly, though, it's filled with songs that make J think of me when he hears them. It may be the most romantic thing he's done for me yet.

I've listened to it four times so far today. I'll be listening to it in my car on the way home. I love it. Thank you, J.

And as a special ending to this post, here is something to watch - Alice Cooper, on The Muppet Show, singing You and Me to a Muppet (unfortunately this clip doesn't show the surprise ending - the Muppet he was singing to was actually Miss Piggy, who had been changed into that other thing with a spell by Alice. The only clip I could find that included that was in a different language and dubbed. Sigh).

Today's Work Mood: Annoyed

I'm having a kind of annoying day. I got a call this morning from the one person at work that I hate, and he just set my mood for the whole day. Or at least the the first half of the workday. I'm hoping for better things this afternoon. We'll see.

So, J took me over to pick up my car on Saturday afternoon. I paid my bill and managed not to wince too much as I handed him the check for over $400. Sigh. I'll miss that money. But, the car is quiet now, and much safer, so it was worth the money. Although I do still need new brakes (I'm going to try to do them next month) and new tires at some point before winter. Oh, and my check engine light is on because there is a problem of some sort with my radiator fan, so I'll have to get that checked, too. Why is it that all of the problems start now, when I'm trying to catch up on bills and maybe start to get ahead? Not to mention that the car is really close to being paid off - I'll make my last payment in November. Sigh. Cars suck, at least when they need fixing. And when you have to fill the gas tanks, too. Something needs to be done about this gas price thing - it's just gotten out of control. I can't afford it!

Anyway. While I was there picking up my car, I saw my Aunt. She is the mechanic's step-mother. For those of you who don't know me (and for those who do), this Aunt is my father's sister. My father died when I was two (almost three), and my mother cut us off from his family due to a dispute she had with his parents, so I grew up not knowing them. The grandparents are all gone now, so this Aunt is my only link with his family. It gives me kind of mixed feelings about her. I don't know her at all, really, but she is family, and she knows things about my family that I never will - how we were when I was a baby, and before I was even born. She told me a story of a time when she babysat all five of us while Mom and Dad went to Florida on a trip.

Apparently, Mom had all of the older kids pretty well trained. They'd get up in the morning and make their beds, and one of them would get breakfast and another one would clean up and another one would sweep the floors. And then the older four would all go off to school, and she'd be left to just watch me during the day. And she said that one night I got up fussing, because I needed to be changed. So she got up and changed me, and put me back to bed. Then the next morning she said my sister asked her about it. "I heard (my nickname) last night. What was wrong with her?" "She needed to be changed." "So what did you do?" "I changed her." "Well, you're supposed to rock her back to sleep." :) Apparently my sister was a little mother even then.

Also, I think I've figured out why, to this day, I do a slight rocking motion when I first go to bed (and in case that needs to be explained - when I'm lying on my side, I'll rock back and forth a little bit). I don't do it long, but for the first few minutes after I go to bed I will. And now I guess I know why! :D

Anyway. I probably still won't see my Aunt much at all, except when I happen to run into her. But it's a strange thought to realize that she's my only link to a whole side of my family that I don't know.

Okay. I need to go do something else, I guess. Like find something to put a smile on my face, since the mood hasn't lifted much. I hope you're all having great Mondays!

Car repair update

J is on his way home from work right now - when he gets here, we're going to go get my car, which is ready and waiting for me. And I almost got my wish! The mechanic called last night and said it was going to cost $200 to replace the bad wheel bearing in my left front wheel. Woo! But then he called back this morning and said that after he got that one in, he test drove it, and it was still making the roaring noise - the right front wheel bearing was going bad, too. :( So I told him to replace that one, too, and now my bill is $405. Sigh. More than I hoped for, but I was still able to pay it, and by only sacrificing one or two bills (one of which is the vet bill, and with what they put me through last month, I don't feel bad about that at ALL, and anyway, they'll be paid off next month when I get my tax rebate/economic stimulus check finally), I can still buy J some birthday presents, which was my most important goal.

So, it's not bad. And my car will be safe again, which is good. I'll be happy to drive to work without having to fear that my car will fall apart and crash somewhere.

I will have to take it back in at some point this summer, once I save some more money, though. It needs new tires and the check engine light is on for a reason that isn't vital or life threatening, but will have to be taken care of before I can have it inspected in December.

Cars suck. Or at least car payments and car repair bills suck. But being able to pay those bills does not suck, so I'm really happy it didn't cost more than it did.

Car Repairs

I'm dropping my car off at the shop tonight. Cross your fingers and hope for a cheap repair bill for me, would you? I'm thinking about $300 or less. Yes, I'm hoping for a lot. We'll see if I'm hoping for too much. I'll let you know.

No More Blueberry Muffins for Me, Thanks

I am mildly lactose intolerant. I say mildly, because I can eat some dairy - I'm fine with cheese, I can eat ice cream and I can eat yogurt. Milk, however, I canNOT drink, and most things made with milk are also off limits, such as mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and other yummy things like that. I haven't had Stouffer's macaroni and cheese in easily five years, and I still miss it from time to time. Oh, and I miss milkshakes, too. Mmmm.

One of the things that I have found out I CAN'T eat, unless I buy a mix and make them myself, is blueberry muffins. They're made with milk, and they bother me. I won't go into what they do to me, because it's gross, but suffice it to say after I get this reaction from a food item once, I tend not to eat it again.

And yet, when a coworker brought in store bought mini blueberry muffins this morning, I checked out the label. Milk was listed in the ingredients, but it was under the "contains 2% or less of..." section. So I would be fine if I only ate one, right? They're so little! I ate one. I've been paying for it all day.

I am an idiot.

How Diet Pepsi is Saving My Life Today

Willow decided to be a bitch last night, and not in the technical, she's a female dog kind of way. She kept J and I awake most of the night by growling. All night long. Until I finally kicked her out of the bedroom - almost literally, but she moved too fast for my foot to hit her.

So today I'm working on about four hours of sleep and a just-finished 20 ounce bottle of Diet Pepsi (thank you, Diet Pepsi, for keeping me awake today, so that I can at least pretend to work). So I thought I would tell you how my day is going, in a very general timeline (all times approximate, because it's not like I was awake enough to write any of this down).

6:36 - tiny sobs, as I realize it's time to get up, and I need to sleep, like, four more hours to be fully rested. J and I tell each other how tired we are, and I get up, while he stays in bed for another hour (lucky man - even if he didn't go back to sleep, still lucky).

6:40 - 7:35 - get ready for work, telling every animal who will listen how tired I am. Yell at Willow and childishly refuse to pet her, because I'm tired and grumpy and holding a grudge. Put the gate back on the futon, so that Willow won't be able to lay on it and be all comfy all day, while I'm at work suffering. Also wish I could be home all day to poke her whenever she starts to go to sleep. We couldn't sleep all night, why should she get to sleep all day?

8:00 - 9:30 or so - sleep walk through work, getting a few things done in spite of my exhaustion.

At some point during this time, around 9:00, maybe? - get a call from someone who works for my company, who is the ONE PERSON in the ENTIRE COMPANY that I really can't stand. Listen to him bitching about being all confused about something that has been going on for A MONTH NOW, biting my tongue because I have no patience in the world. At all. Especially for him. Sigh, out loud, and wish I could shoot daggers through the phone. Like, literally, daggers that would hit him and at the very least wound him horribly.

9:30 - start to wake up a little, thanks to my Diet Pepsi. Which, as I may have mentioned, rocks my tired little world today.

9:45 - find out that the woman who I used to work with in another department, who brought in birthday strawberry shortcake fixings for a coworker's birthday today, used Grands biscuits and fake whipped cream, so that I would be able to eat them (I'm lactose intolerant). I told her she rocks the most, and I meant every word of it. That shortcake was awesome.

10:30 - start falling back to sleep (or at least wanting to). That energy burst didn't last long.

11:30 - lunch! Jelly sandwich and pretzels, yum.

12:00 - come back to a message, but it's not from J (I secretly always hope it's him, whenever my work phone rings, because I'd rather hear his voice than anyone else's, especially when the other people's voices might bring me more work). I take the message down and decide I will call back later, when I've cooled down from my walk and am maybe more awake (from chugging more Diet Pepsi).

12:40 - call the person back, only to find out that they already found what they were calling me for, meaning I don't have to do a thing. Woo! I love that kind of call. I decide that the gods are being merciful to a poor exhausted employed girl. And then I have this confirmed when I come back to my computer to find that Pandora is playing "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees. If that won't wake you up, nothing will. :)

Okay, I must get back to it. Maybe I have a second wind coming. And if not, I have a second bottle of Diet Pepsi on my desk, waiting to help me out. Oh, here is a side benefit to all that Diet Pepsi - soda makes me feel full. I'm trying, once again, to eat less junk food and lose some weight (like, 25 pounds initially, 60 pounds overall). The soda is helping me not want to snack. Diet Pepsi, is there nothing you can't do?

Why, why, why?

Why do some women feel like their butt is to precious to sit on a toilet seat? Not that I have a problem if they want to give their thigh muscles a workout by hovering over the seat, but I DO have a problem when the fact that they're hovering over the seat, so that their princessy ass doesn't need to touch the same spot that anyone else's butt has touched (the horror!), means that they have bad flow control, or bad aim, or both, and they end up peeing on the fucking seat!

Learn to aim, sit your ass on the seat like a normal person, or hold it until you go home. But above all, stop peeing on a toilet seat that I might need to use after you.