Lookie What I Found

I was walking through the kitchen to put away my box of strawberry frosted Mini Wheats, when I heard a rustling on the counter. I put the cereal away and came back over, where this bag of cat food was sitting on the counter.


Did a cat food pouch really rustle all on its own?


Not really. It had a little help.

I didn't think to take my camera with me, but shortly after taking this picture, I put on my boots, coat and gloves, and took Mr. Mouse here and released him into the field next door. Here's hoping he's smart enough to stay out of my house from here on out, because with five cats in this place, he won't be lucky enough to escape this way a second time (plus I threw the pouch of food into the trash once the mouse was out of it).

Effing Winter

I fucking hate every fucking second of winter. From the first snowfall in October until it finally ends in April, I hate ever snowflake, every snowstorm, every bit of ice and wind. HATE, HATE, HATE!

My car got stuck in my driveway this morning. I had shoveled all around it, but it didn't matter - I got in it and hit the gas, and it went nowhere. I had to get out and shovel, and try to rock it, and try going back and forth until it finally rocked free of the hump of snow and ice it was stuck on and I was able to muscle it forward (after one more trip back).

And then when I got out and went to put the shovel back in the garage, there was yellow stuff dripped all over the snow where my car had been stuck. I'm hoping it's just stuff that dripped out of the hole in my muffler, because I really can't afford any car repairs again, not for quite a few months.

I fucking hate winter. I hate snow. I want spring. Now. Fucking Jack Frost can bite me.

Cats!

If Doggy Day made a triumphant return, of course Kitty Day had to do the same! So here we are (with an emphasis on Sable, because apparently I felt like taking a lot of pictures of her recently).

Kate kind of covers the entire arm of this chair, doesn't she?

I don't even really remember taking this picture, but I love it - Gracie and Zelda, sisters snuggled up together.

Sable actually lays in the kitty condo sometimes. I think she's the only one who does.

I love kitty paws. Sable was laying on the chair, her legs stretched out in front of her, so I got a shot of her feet. So cute!

:)

Catch-Up

It's been a while since I've just written a post about what was going on in my life, so I guess it's time to play catch up.

First, yesterday was my Mom's birthday. If she were still here, she would have turned 71, which just seems unreal. She also would have been at my house, joking around with J about getting old, making ribald comments (she loved making people laugh with dirty jokes or innuendos), and eating birthday cake. But she's not here, so I just imagined all of that and missed her. I love you, Mom. I wish you were still here with me.

A week before that, on the 18th, was the 16th anniversary of the death of my step-dad. I can't even believe that he's been gone that long, but he has. I don't quite know why I was fated to lose three parents so early in my life, but all these years later, I still hate it. I miss you Wayne. I love you.

Saturday J and I went to lunch with my sister and with my oldest brother and his wife. My family is very weird - we don't talk to each other very often (with the exception of me and my sister), so this is the first time I've seen him in a few years, I think, and the first time J had ever met him. In fact, my brother didn't even know I was engaged (although I thought I had e-mailed him after J proposed, but maybe not). Yes, we're a very close family - not.

Anyway, we had a fun time talking to him and his wife, who is due to have a baby girl in May. It was nice to catch up with him a little bit, and I was very, very happy to have J finally meet him. He may never meet the brother who is the closest in age to me, since I haven't seen him myself in almost nine years, so at least now he's met everyone else.

The whole thing just made me love having J in my life that much more, too, somehow. I just never really thought I would find someone to share my life with at all, and I really barely even dared to dream that I would find someone who loves me like J does. It's a great feeling to have him in my life after spending so many years alone.

Anyway. :) Saturday was pretty much a perfect day, with a nice mix of socializing and then staying in with J and just relaxing and enjoying the time together. He had to go to work at night, so I sat and watched DVDs and played the Sims, and he got home the next morning just after I got up.

We also went to my sister's house after lunch on Saturday, to pick up Ginger's leftover dog food and treats. :( Poor Ginger. And my poor sister and her family. Losing a dog is so hard - they really become a part of your family.

So we visited there for a few minutes, and then went home. Duff, our picky eater who sometimes just doesn't eat his meals (the only dog I've ever seen that doesn't gobble everything you put in front of him), is loving Ginger's food. He may change his mind about that soon, but for now he's digging right in and eating the whole dish of food, so I'm happy about that.

Yesterday was pretty nice, too. J was home most of the day, although he was napping a bit in the morning, to make up for working the night before. But I got to spend a decent amount of time with him, and we watched Anchorman, which was very funny, and then we watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which we saw in the theater, but I hadn't seen since. It was fun. And then he went to work again, and I watched The Best Years of Our Lives, which is an Oscar winner that I'll have to write a post about soon - one more down! It was very good, too.

And I knitted a little bit more. I'm working on the first sleeve for my sweater, and I'm almost done with it - I have about four more inches to knit, and then I start binding off and making the rounded top part. Once it's done, the sweater will be half done! I may not get to wear it this winter, though, because I need to make two baby blankets by May, so I won't be working on the sweater for a while, sadly. Oh well. I'll finish it eventually.

Okay, I guess that's enough catch up for now. Have a great Monday, everyone!

Bonus Doggy Day

Rosebud must go upstairs at least a couple of times every day. There's nothing up there that should interest her, but she just has to check every day, and the way she comes down makes me laugh so much. So I took a video of it. The only thing this doesn't show is that usually she makes a bit of a zig-zag pattern on her way down, and she didn't this time, probably because I was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Anyway, here she is - Rosebud the Basset Hound, clicking her way down the stairs, then turning to give me the stink eye when she's back in the living room. :)

The Triumphant Return...

...of doggy day. :) The dogs got some rawhide bones last week.

To Thine Own Self Be True

Over the last two nights I watched Hamlet.

Hamlet
1948
Laurence Olivier
Basil Sydney
Eileen Herlie
Norman Wooland

I can't remember for sure, but I probably watched this in high school or even junior high school at some point. Everyone reads Hamlet and then watches the movie in school, right? But it had been so long that I couldn't say for sure that I had seen this, and shoot, I couldn't even remember all of what happened in it. So I'm glad I put this back on my list.

I won't really go into details about the plot - like I said, we all read this in high school. I will say that I had forgotten how good Shakespeare's stories were - I started knitting while watching the movie, but I ended up putting the knitting down and just watching, because it sucked me right in.

I'll also say that if I had ever become a writer, like I always wanted to, I would NOT have been able to write tragedies. I'm far too kind hearted for that. I went to bed thinking about the movie last night, and it all could have been so happy! If only Claudius hadn't killed his brother. If only Hamlet hadn't killed Polonius. If only...well, if only it had been a whole different play. That's my problem, really - I want everyone to be happy, but it's a far more interesting story when they're miserable.

Anyway, I really enjoyed watching this, and I think for the first time since I started watching these old Oscar winning movies, I'm giving it 5 stars. It deserves all five of them.

Ginger

I got an e-mail from my brother-in-law this morning, that said he had to put their dog, Ginger, to sleep. She had a tumor growing out of her mouth, so although he didn't say for sure, it must have been cancer. :( Poor Ginger. I'll miss her when I go over there to visit. And I really wish I had a picture of her on my work computer, so that I could share it. She was a beautiful dog.

So. Sorry to start with sad news. But it was the first e-mail I got today, so it was on my mind. I was planning on writing a blog today anyway, though, to apologize for basically taking a week off once holidailies ended. After having to write every day for two months, I kind of didn't want to do it anymore, you know? But I'll work my way back into at least a few entries per week.

And since I missed cat picture day again, and since there is every possibility I'll miss dog picture day tomorrow, I brought my new camera to work with me today, and took some pictures off it that I took over the last week. Not all of the animals are here, but most of them are.

Four of the five cats were on the cat chair together, all cuddled up to be warm while they slept. I love it when the cats do this, so I snapped a picture. (And okay, Sable is on top of the chair, not curled up with the other three, but she's still there, so it counts.) It's too bad Lucy wasn't there, too, although I don't know that she'd have fit, really.

I saw Willow laying next to the heater in this position, and she just looks so beautiful, doesn't she? She can be a pain in the ass with all of her growling and noise, but she's also the sweetest dog around, and just so pretty.

Of course, Rosie is pretty, too, and I caught her laying next to the heater, too. It's a popular spot this time of year.

Right Now

Right now I have a load of clothes in the washer, and another one in the dryer. Right now I'm playing the Sims - A couple just conceived their first child, and her mother just wrote a best selling book about a cat detective. Right now I'm feeling guilty about not posting dog and cat day, so I just went and took some pictures, and I'm going to share them with you.

Right now, Sable and Lucy are sleeping on the cat chair.

Ten minutes ago, Kate was eating her breakfast.

Right now, Bernie is laying on the living room floor.

Right now, Willow is sleeping on the futon.

Right now, Zelda is also sleeping on the futon (although when I took this, she woke up and stretched).

Right now, McDuff is laying on the couch in the mudroom.

Right now, Rosebud is sleeping on the couch in the mudroom.

Right now, Gracie is sleeping in the cupboard upstairs.

Right now I am hitting "publish post," and ending this entry. :)

Scarf!

I finished my scarf last night. Remember the scarf I started knitting for myself ages and ages ago? Yeah, after getting sidetracked by other projects, I finally finished it! And I LOVE it. It came out so nicely. There are a couple of mistakes in it (in the mesh stitch sections, mostly - it's the only one that really tripped me up at all), but it's for me, so who cares? It came out so nicely. And I knitted it! Woo!

I think my favorite section is still the basket weave. I just like it. I think that's the pattern I'm going to use for the next baby blanket I make. Imagine how soft and warm that will be for a baby! :)

So, now that this is done, the only project I'm currently working on is my sweater. I haven't touched it in a while, so I think that will be the next one to be finished. Then I have two baby blankets to make - one for my future great-nephew, and one for my future nephew or niece. And when I was visiting my sister before Christmas, my niece (who is a nurse on a cancer ward) brought up that the patients who are undergoing chemo are usually given hats to wear, as they lose their hair, and the hospital had run out. I'm hoping they got some more since then, but she asked if I could make some to donate to the hospital, and I like that idea a lot. So I want to make some hats.

That seems like enough to keep me busy for a while, right? Yes, definitely. I have a mental list of other projects I want to make, though. I want to make myself a knitted afghan. I want to try making some nice warm socks to wear around the house. And when I get good enough, maybe even I'll try to make a pair of gloves for myself, who knows?

I'm so glad I taught myself to knit. :)

Me

I'll post again later tonight with Kitty Picture Day - or I'll post it tomorrow, one or the other. For now, though, I wanted to share something I just wrote. It's introspective and makes promises that I really hope I can keep - promises I make to myself. Enjoy.


I catch a glimpse of her sometimes, out of the corner of my eye. The woman I used to be, glimmering on the edge of my consciousness. Her shape, her curves, her incredibly tiny waist. She hated her calves, she thought her thighs were fat, she hated her womanly hips. She didn’t appreciate the things that made her beautiful – her smile, her sparkly eyes, the undisguised love and kindness that poured out of her in waves. She was too focused on the number on the scale, the size in the clothes.

Now so many years have passed – a decade, two. The woman I am is so much stronger than the woman I used to be, in so many ways. Love, grief and the passing of time have matured me, seasoned me, prepared me to accept the fact that I am approaching middle age. My hands aren’t as smooth and blemish free, my feet aren’t as soft and worn from days spent in the swimming pool. Stretch marks have appeared, glasses are needed. But the best parts of that woman I used to be – the figure I didn’t know to appreciate when I had it, the happiness and love, the smile – they’re still there. The body is hiding under the layers of fat I’ve accumulated through 10+ years of grief, loneliness and self loathing, but it’s there, waiting to emerge once again.

I have love now – something she never let herself have. I have a home, I have family – mine and his. I have so many things in my life that I cherish, that I thank the universe for on a daily basis. The happy shine in J’s bright blue eyes when he looks at me, the knowledge that there is one person in this world who loves me more than anyone else he knows – and that I love him the same way. That I allowed him to stick around long enough for that love to grow. That I didn’t cast him away when he started to get too close.

2009 is going to be the year when the woman I used to be and the woman I am now merge. I am going to reveal that thinner version of me, layer by layer. I’m going to have that flat belly again. I’m going to lose my double chin. I’m going to feel comfortable in my own skin again. I’m going to wear shorts again. I’m going to wear dresses and skirts again. I’m going to feel beautiful. I’m going to turn 40, and I’m going to rock that age more than any other that has come before.

The best parts of the past me, and the best parts of the new me are going to come together. I am finally going to be the woman I’ve always dreamed of being – beautiful, happy, loved. This is my vow. This is my promise, both to the woman I am now and to the woman I was then.

I am going to be in love with my life, and my body, simultaneously. I deserve that.

Two Best Picture Winners

I have two Best Picture Oscar winners to update about, so that's what this post is going to be. I think I have about 37 movies left to watch (not counting a few that aren't on DVD yet), so I could be finished with this in two or three months, woo! It's been fun, though. Anyway, here we go.

Going My Way
1944
Bing Crosby
Barry Fitzgerald

This is the story of a church that is in financial trouble, and the priest who comes in to fix things. Bing Crosby is the priest who comes in to save things, and of course he croons his way through the job. From saving a young girl who is in trouble, to keeping a group of trouble making boys off the streets by having them form a choir, he has a song for everything.

Just like all Bing Crosby movies, it was an enjoyable movie to watch. I'm not sure if it deserved to win the best picture Oscar, but then, different types of movies tended to win back then. It's worth watching if you see it on when you're flipping through channels someday. I don't feel the need to own it, though.

I give it 3.5 stars out of 5.

Mutiny on the Bounty
1935
Clark Gable
Charles Laughton

J and I watched this one together - he loves Navy movies (even though this was the British Navy, it was still Navy, so it doesn't matter). I didn't understand some of the Navy stuff, but it was still very enjoyable for me to watch.

First - Captain Bligh is a horrible, horrible man. I can see why Clark Gable's character mutinied and set him (and his supporters on ship) adrift in a lifeboat. Did you know what keelhauling was? I didn't. He did it to someone, though, so I got to see it. A person is tied to a line, dropped into the water, and then dragged down the length of the bottom of the boat, drowning in the process. Horrible! Can you tell I hated Captain Bligh? What did this poor unfortunate person do to deserve this? He asked for water for his knees, which were being torn and burned to shreds as he was kneeled on the deck, cleaning it. Talk about the punishment not fitting the crime.

Captain Bligh also cut food and water rations to a point that almost killed the men who worked under him, all while eating and drinking like a king at his own table. Horrible man!

Anyway, I don't want to give too much away, because this movie is definitely worth watching. Just be prepared to hate Captain Bligh, okay?

I give this movie 4.5 stars out of 5.

Happy List, 12/28 - 1/3

The first happy list of the New Year! Here's some of what made me happy this last week.

Sunday: A J and D Sunday, with football, McDonald’s for lunch, some Sims time, and lots of together time. :)

Monday: Vacation Monday, woo! With lots of Sims, eating way too much and watching lots of Gilmore Girls episodes.

Tuesday: Finding out that my roof repair really may be cheap, and it may even not need to be done until it gets warmer. Woo!

Wednesday: J being there to hug me and hold my hand when I came out of the recovery room. My niece calling and leaving a message on my machine to see if I’m all right and to tell me she and the family are thinking of me. :)

Thursday: Spending the day with J. Laying in bed watching movies while I rested my belly (which was hurting quite a bit by the evening). Watching J laugh at Step–Brothers. :)

Friday: Feeling a bit better by the afternoon. Watching lots of Gilmore Girls and knitting.

Saturday: J finally coming home to me! I missed him.

On the Mend

After a really painful Thursday night, and a sore, tired Friday, I'm starting to feel better - I've turned the corner in my recovery, I think. My upper incision is still a little sore, but I can bend and move without as much pain. It's a good feeling. I'm still tiring really easily, though.

I also found out that I'm not quite ready to wear pants with an actual waistband. Today I had to take my car to the shop, so I wore jeans. When I was standing up, they felt fine, but when I sat down - hoo boy! The waistband was poking right into my sorest spot, and hurting like mad. I had to undo my button and just make sure my shirt stayed low enough to cover it. :D I don't think my work pants will bother me that much when I go back to work on Monday, though. Denim just doesn't give much.

Other than the trip to the mechanic (and the subsequent hour sitting there reading a book while I waited for the repair to be finished), I've had a quiet day. I've read, I've watched some episodes from season two of Gilmore Girls, I've petted and taken care of the animals. All in all, it's a pretty nice way to spend a Saturday.

Okay, now I have to kick Zelda off the back of my chair, so I can lean back and read. I'm almost at the end of my book, so it's getting good.

Dog Blog

Doggy day! One of my two favorite blogging days of the week. Let's start this week off with a video, shall we? And don't worry, eventually the new camera love will end, and I'll be used to the video with audio capability, and I'll stop shooting them so much. But for now, I'm loving them.

Also, I feel the need to say that my voice doesn't sound anything like this in my head. And yet, Bernie's voice sounds exactly like this in real life, so this must be what I sound like. Hmmm.

Okay, here's Bernie asking to go outside. :)



Thrilling, right? He's so cute and big and fluffy. And here are the rest of the dogs! Not in video form, just in regular old picture form (although I do have plans to get a video of Rosie coming down the stairs inside the house - she does them in this zigzag pattern that is just so cute).

Regular old pictures of our dogs



Duff got another bath earlier this week (J's trying to get his skin allergy thing under control), and this time I remembered to get pictures! Can you see the shampoo mohawk in the first two? :)

Willow is so pretty. :)

Rosie likes to sleep on the couch, and she's pretty, too. :)

Surgery Nerves

Tuesday evening:

Tap, tap, tap. My fingers on J’s leg, on my own leg, on my other hand. Swing, swing, swing. My leg can’t keep still. I’m nervous.

I haven’t been put under since I had my wisdom teeth cut out when I was 19 or 20 years old. My body hasn’t been cut into since I had my appendix out when I was 11. I didn’t think I’d be nervous or afraid. But I was.

Tuesday night:

Up and down all night long. I saw 1:00 in the morning. I woke up quickly when the alarm went off at 4:20 in the morning. I had been dreaming about the surgery day. Weird images of tree limbs and lunches I couldn’t eat. Why was I at work? I don’t know. Nervous dreams.

Wednesday morning:

Problems with J’s car. Too much snow outside. Nasty drive to the hospital. Feeling tense. Watching the miles go by, in the predawn darkness.

Once at the hospital, everything seems to go so fast. No longer nervous. I seem to have gotten that out of my system the night before. Before I know it my belly has been scrubbed, my belly button cleaned out with a wet swab. I’ve given my engagement ring to J to hold. My IV is in, and liquid Valium has been pumped in. And I’m out. I have vague recollections of moving to the operating table, of the lights over me.

They said I threw up. But I didn’t aspirate. When I woke up, I was disjointed, uncomfortable, unhappy. It was not a nice feeling. The doctor came around, said there was some problem with adhesions from my appendix scar. I wasn’t really awake yet, didn’t understand what he said.

Then I was back in the room where I started. J was there, holding my hand, kissing my cheek. Putting my engagement ring on my finger for the second time. I was so happy to feel his touch.

They brought me an English muffin. I was starved, it tasted so good. I had to pee. The IV needle was still in my hand.

We drive home, after stopping to fill my pain pill prescription, and another stop at work so I could pee again. That IV really did its job.

Home. Sore. Tired. Laying down, watching Dark Knight. Then dozing off. Sleeping. Quiet afternoon. J wanted to stay up to watch the ball drop. I wanted to sleep. I didn't think I dozed off, but he said I did. I woke up when he shut off the TV. Said Happy New Year. Got my kiss. Went back to sleep.

Thursday:

Sore. Taking Advil. Outer bandages taken off. Belly tight and sore. Quiet. Tired. Recovering. TV. Shower. Sims. Internet. Chinese food for lunch. Boiled dinner, courtesy of my sister, for dinner. SNL on the DVR. Naptime now?

Happy New Year.

Surgery

I had a minor surgical procedure done today. It was a voluntary thing, I wasn't sick, so don't worry. It's actually kind of amazing - this is a thing that at one time they would have had to cut a whole big incision for, and all I have are two small cuts, which don't hurt at all. I didn't even need the pain medicine they prescribed me (although I filled it anyway, since that's good stuff to have around).

This morning I was up at 4:30, and got showered and dressed and took care of the animals. J had a little trouble with his car (which he has now fixed), but it's a good thing we didn't take it anyway - it snowed like an effer here today, and we needed the 4wd on the truck.

We were at the hospital at just a few minutes after 6:00. I was in surgery by 7:30, and waking up before I even knew I was asleep. Apparently I puked while I was under, and the anesthesia made me feel horrible, but the surgery itself went fine, which I was happy about, obviously.

And then J and I were on the way home by 11:30, after a stop at my work so I could pee (they must have pumped a LOT of fluids into my IV, because I couldn't make it all the way home) and a stop to fill my prescription. Since then I've mostly been in bed, but I'm feeling so much better already than I did when we got home. Napping is a good thing.

And now I think I'm going to go back to relaxing and healing. Happy New Year, everyone. I will probably not be awake to see it in, but I hope you all enjoy it. And here's hoping that 2009 brings great things for all of us.

Pretty Kitties

Wow, I sure do lose all track of time when I'm on vacation. I posted the Happy List a day early this weekend, and I almost forgot it was kitty picture day today! But I remembered, and since I've been having so much fun playing with my new camera, I didn't even have to run around trying to get pictures of them all, because I already had a decent amount to choose from (mostly of Sable, because I love that this camera can capture her so well, even though she's all black).

So, here we go!

Pretty Kitties

Vacation Monday

Wow, you can tell it's vacation time when I don't update this until 10:15 at night.

So, first day of vacation is just about over! And okay, it's not the first day, tecnically, but it kind of feels like it, somehow, I guess because it's the first day that hasn't felt like it was Christmas related. I mean, I'm home all day on a Monday, J is at work, and I'm sitting at my desk watching Gilmore Girls episodes all day.

I think some people would think I kind of fail at vacation in one way, though. I was up at about 7:00 this morning, and I will be again tomorrow. Our handyman/contractor person is coming over to check out my roof (which was leaking on Saturday, blah), and he said he'd be here between 8 and 9. I'm not letting him see my in my PJs with bedhead, so I'll be up, showered and dressed before 8. Sigh.

But that's okay. Just cross your fingers for me that he can patch my roof up cheap, okay?

Okay. I really need to get to bed now. Happy Monday night, people. Talk to you tomorrow.

Bonus Doggy Day

J gave Willow a piece of gum when he was done with it today. He's given Rosie gum lots of times, and she chews it six or seven times, and then swallows it. Willow, however, chewed it for probably half an hour before she swallowed it. And it was hysterical! And what do you know, I got a camera for Christmas, that takes videos. :) Enjoy.

(I don't know why the image is showing up twice. Sorry.)

Willow says: "I make my people laugh because I am FUNNY! Shoot, I crack myself up." :)