First Week

I'm in my first week at my new job. It's kind of a bizarre one, because my new boss is out at a training thing until Friday, so I'm here by myself most of the week. She left me a small list of things to do and people to contact, and I have a couple of meetings set up already with various people, but it's still pretty strange. I'm finding myself with a lot of time to sit here and try to find things to do. I don't enjoy that too much, but I am sure that it won't be that way for too long. Once I get settled into the position and people start piling stuff on my desk to do for them, I'll be plenty busy. So I'm trying to enjoy the relative calm.

It's a little strange being here, though. I am once again at a job where I am sitting at a desk for almost the entire day without getting up for much of anything other than to get something off the printer and to go to the bathroom. And I find myself getting very antsy! I didn't realize how much I moved around at my other job, but I guess it was a lot. Between checking on laptops and phones that are being repaired and popping in to the store to say hi to Jamie (hi Jamie!), I was moving around quite a bit. That's no longer true, and it's going to take some getting used to.

But I don't want any of this to sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not. Or at least I don't mean to. The job really is going to be perfect for me once I get into it. I just wish I knew more about marketing. I'm really going to have to work to learn about that side of the job.

School is also underway once again. I have an accounting class and a graphic design/animation class this semester. The former promises to be rather boring but not too taxing, the latter looks like it might be fun. And neither of them seem to involve any group work, so woo! I really needed a semester where I didn't have to deal with groups. They really suck a lot.

And now I think I need to go find a reason to walk around. My legs, they are so jumpy!

Is the World Ending?

Okay, be forewarned everyone - the world may be ending. It is Saturday, the day that I generally spend sitting on my butt watching TV and playing the Sims, and for some reason I have been spending the last hour and a half completely cleaning and rearranging my living room instead. I'm not sure what happened - I was just sitting, looking around and thinking about how dirty my house had gotten, and the next thing I knew, I was cleaning.

Remember - I warned you. If the world ends today, you knew it was coming.

Happy Birthday Mom

Sixty eight years ago today, my Mom came into the world. Happy Birthday Mom! I thought of you all day, especially every time I wrote the date. I love you and I miss you.

This is her high school graduation picture. Isn't she gorgeous? Thank you again for scanning it for me, Sarah.

Winter came back today. I never expected the nice, unseasonably warm weather to stay - I never expected it to be here in January in the first place - but man, do I miss it now. It's snowy and blowy and I had to drive home from work at 30-35 miles an hour and I had to park on the side of the road and get out and shovel the driveway before I could park, and I really hate that. Oh well, at least it's exercise. And I'll get to do it again in the morning, because I was just out with Willow, and the snow has all blown in again - my car is completely surrounded. Stupid snow! Ugh.

Anyway, enough grumbling. My sister called me tonight. She hasn't called me in a long time, and I've only talked to her once since Christmas, I think. And we never mentioned that it was Mom's birthday, but now I have to wonder - is that why she called? And she told me she loved me before we hung up, so now I'm thinking that was definitely in her mind. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that she cares. I mean, I know she does, but she gets very wrapped up in her husband and kids, and it's hard not to feel like I come a distant eighth (she has six kids). But she loves me, and I like when she reminds me of that. I love her too.

Busy, Busy

I'm at my old job this week, and man are they keeping us busy! It's nowhere near as bad as the beginning of the fall semester, but we aren't getting many breaks between customers. Which is exhausting, but nice, too. The days go by really fast this way. And I'm enjoying my last week at my old job. Sarah will be in tomorrow and the rest of the week, so it'll be fun. We manage to have a good time at work, which is always nice.

I'm also managing to do work for my new job while I'm here, which is good, because I'm getting a little bit more of an idea of what I'm going to be doing. I have meetings set up with people, and have been doing small projects that I can fit in between customers, and I get the cutest e-mails from my new boss. The latest one said, "Everyone is so excited that you're here!" I ask you, when was the last time you got an e-mail like that from your boss? Because that would be a big fat never for me, until today. I think I'm really going to like working for her. Now I just hope she remembers all thiese good comments come raise time. :)

I got my school loan refund yesterday, which means I will once again be fluid financially. Yay! It's so exciting when I can send off big fat checks to pay people off (I sent two out this morning, woo!). Money is good. Until I have to start paying those loans back, anyway. Ugh.

And now it's just about time for me to go to my accounting class. I hope they let us out early. Have a great night! Or day, or weekend, or whatever fits when you read this.

Realizing

I just realized that I didn't post about Wayne yesterday. My step-dad, who raised me since I was about four (along with my Mom, of course), died 13 years ago yesterday.

Wayne gave me a necklace the Christmas before he died. It is a gold heart with small rubies and diamonds (rubies are my birthstone). He died of cancer, and was very sick before he died, and was bed ridden most days. But one day in December, he was feeling well enough to get up and out, so he asked my Mom and my brother (the one from that entry, back when he was sober more often and still nice to be around) to take him to the jewelry store. So they loaded him, his wheel chair and his oxygen into the car and they drove him to the store. He got out of the car and into the wheel chair, and stayed upright in it long enough to go in and pick that necklace out before he had to go back to the car where he could lay down in the seat. That necklace is one of my most prized possessions, and I've worn it almost daily since that Christmas when I received it, but I haven't been lately because the chain broke and I haven't been able to afford to replace it. I kept reaching for it all day yesterday, though.

I love you Wayne, and I miss you every day.

Morning Update

I'm on day two at my new job. The next couple of weeks will be a little weird, because my old job and my new one are in the same building, working for the same company, and they're kind of sharing me until after the first week of classes. I was at my old job on Monday, my new job yesterday, today and tomorrow, then back at my old job Friday. I have to work at my old job on Sunday, when we do laptop distribution (working on Sunday sucks, but it's better than the fall, when we had to do both Saturday and Sunday, so we ended up working twelve long, busy days in a row), then I'm back at the old job all next week because they're going to be really busy with the first week of classes. After next week I'll be back at my new job permanently.

Anyway, the first few days or weeks in a new job are a little weird, because you don't really know what you're doing yet, and you may not have many things to work on yet, and that is true here. I did two small projects yesterday all day. which really didn't take that much of my day, but that's okay. First days are like that. It'll get a lot busier, I know.

Okay, people are floating around, so that's all I have time to update this morning. More news later!

Sundayness

This day did not start off well at all. I had the most horrible night of sleep last night. It took me forever to fall asleep. I shut the TV off at about 11:30, and I was still awake two hours later. Then I was up at 2:30 for a trip to the bathroom and I'm pretty sure I was awake on and off from then until I finally got up at about 8:30. I got up exhausted, but it wasn't any good laying there - I just couldn't sleep. So I started off my day physically exhausted.

There are probably a couple of reasons that I couldn't get to sleep. The simplest is that I drank a soda yesterday, and since I don't drink too many caffeinated beverages, they actually keep me awake if I drink them too late. I thought I finished it early enough, but it could have affected me. The more difficult reason was that when I was laying there waiting to fall asleep, the heat kicked on, because the weather turned cold again. I am almost out of fuel oil, and I was hoping to be able to wait until the 24th to get a new delivery, because that's when I'll be able to pay them. And I wasn't sure if I would have enough, so instead of relaxing and falling asleep, I was tensing up about the possibility of running out of fuel oil in January. I swear, I never used to be a worrier.

(Oh, and I went down and checked my fuel oil this morning, and I am almost out. I just called and left a message on my fuel company's machine, asking if they would deliver the fuel to me this week. I so hate having to ask for favors like that, though.)

Anyway, the day did get better after a while. I'm still cold, because I have my heat set on 58 degrees. I don't dare turn it up, because even if they do deliver to me this week, it won't be until Tuesday, and I really don't want to run out of fuel before then. So I'm layering and covering up. It won't kill me. And the animals have the fur coats going for them, so they're okay.

And I spent the day playing the Sims, and watching TV (General Hosptial and Veronica Mars, and man, season one of Veronica Mars was so good! I wish I got UPN so I could watch season two. Alas, I'll have to wait for it to come on DVD.) And I baked a pan of brownies. Brownies can make just about everything better.

And tomorrow is back to work, and I guess I'll find out how the schedule is going to pan out for when I start my new position. I hope I do well in it. It's nice to have something new to look forward to, though.

Okay, I've rambled long enough. I'm off to enjoy my (admittedly chilly) Sunday night. I hope you all had a great weekend!

Job News

Man, I got home today, took care of the critters and changed into my PJs, sat down, and instantly felt like I wanted to go to bed RIGHT NOW, I was so stinking tired. I'm not sure why - a combination of high emotions all day, what with the Photoshop test this morning and then finding out that I got the job this afternoon, and a little bit of physical tiredness as well, because Sarah and I skated again today. And let me tell you, my legs are not happy with me. Yowza. But it's fun, so whatever - shut up legs.

I don't know too many details yet about when the new job is going to start. I think for a couple of weeks I'll be going back and forth from my current job to my new one. Then, once they get their shift coverage firgured out and hire a new person, I'll be at the new job full-time. I am glad that I have this weekend to relax and absorb this whole development, though.

I called my sister when I got home to tell her my news, and I mentioned to her something that I kind of touched on here, badly I think, a while ago, and I just feel the need to say it again. This whole situation that I have going on at work and school (mostly work) just seems so fated. I'm not sure if I believe in fate, but it just all seems too good to be true. I had a job that I absolutely hated from the very first day. I worked (suffered) there for almost a year, and then I left to go back to school, because I couldn't find a better job and I was desperate to do something different. And I went to school full-time and was jobless for a couple of months, and took a desperation job at a local grocery store, which also sucked donkey butt, and then this part-time, temporary job came up. I applied, I got it, it turned full-time, and just over a year later it's turned into this job that is going to be more challenging, will allow me to be more creative, and will pay me a little bit more than I make now. Not much, but enough to buy a couple of weeks worth of groceries for me and the critters. And all just 8.5 miles from my house, as opposed to the 30 miles I used to drive to get to work for the job I hated. Seriously - how much better could things get? Especially when you add in that I work with mostly fantastic people, two of which have become really good friends, and will still be working just next door to them after the job change. I really am counting my lucky stars, believe me.

(I'm also thankful for the last few days of gorgeous weather that we've had. I went outside in a short sleeved sweater twice today, and didn't need a jacket. In January. In Central New York. This is basically unheard of.)

And now I've babbled long enough. Have a great weekend, Internet people! And because I haven't included one in a while, here is my picture of the day, which is actually a panorama (series of three pictures, knitted together) that I took last year. These windmills are across from my house.

Oh, and I just realized that today is Friday the 13th. I think this may be the best Friday the 13th I've ever had!

Job Update

I got the job! Let the partying begin!

Jumping Through Hoops

I have another little test to pass tomorrow for that job I'm up for. I have to go in to the HR's office sometime tomorrow. They're going to put me on a computer and have me do something for them in Photoshop. I have a little bit of experience in Photoshop from a digital photography class that I took my first semester, but I haven't used it since. I told her that in the interview, though, so she shouldn't expect miracles. I did go in and refresh myself on the tools, so I think I'll be okay. Still - I hope they let me stop jumping through hoops after this. Just hire me already! You know you want to. :)

Sarah and I skated during our lunch break again today. It's so fun! I didn't want to stop when our time was over. Sarah might have been happy to, though, because she fell today. I didn't laugh at her too much. Hey, it'll be me next.

And in other news, I have rediscovered my addiction to the Sims. Yes, I have been sitting at my computer playing it every since I got home from work. Well, that is, after I took care of the critters and put on my PJs, of course. I lost my entire saved game when my desktop had to have a new hard drive, so I'm starting over in Pleasantview. I created a family called Breeder, for the precise purpose, surprise surprise, of seeing how many kids they could have. They had five before they ran out of time and I ran out of patience for raising their Sim kids. I'm playing three of their kids through college right now. I really love this game. It's a good thing I'm poor and have to work, because if I were rich enough to have a life of leisure, I would be playing all the freaking time. We all have our addictions, right?

Anyway. It's about time for me to close down my Sims and my laptop and go watch an episode of Veronica Mars before I go to sleep for the night. (But not until one of my Sims proposes to her love. And THEN I'm shutting down, I swear!)

Upsides to Stomach Bugs

The thing about having a stomach bug is that it sucks all kinds of donkey butt. However, it has its upsides. First, not being able to eat means you might drop a couple of pounds before you get your appetite back. Second, if it happens during the week, you get to miss a day or two of work. Third, on the second day you miss, you'll start feeling well enough again, finally, that you'll be able to do something other than lay in bed and run to the bathroom. In my case, that means I'm able to play the Sims and read my book. And that's pretty nice.

And also, if you're lucky, you'll even have concerned friends take the time to call to see if you're okay and if you need anything, because they'll gladly stop by after work. I'm that lucky. Of course, I e-mailed him back (because I was in bed when he called and didn't answer the phone) and told him that I don't need anything, and I'm already feeling better than I was this morning, and I'm sure that I'll get even better as the day goes on. But he's very sweet to worry.

And now I'm going to go back to laying down. I hope you all are healthy out there, and if you're sick, I hope you too have concerned people watching out for you.

Sims, Hard Drives and Cuteness

I wasn't planning on updating today (first day off after holidailies!), but I felt the need. My computer person came and picked up my desktop yesterday, and I e-mailed him today to see how it was coming. He had to replace the hard drive, and couldn't save anything off of it. I didn't have too much on it - just ALL OF MY SIMS GAME! All of the people, all of the houses I had built - all gone. I came really close to crying. Sims players understand what I'm saying - everyone else is just skipping this entry altogether.

Anyway. That's really all I had to say. Also, I wanted to post a picture I took today. This is Kate (gray), Zelda (black) and Lucy (calico), all sleeping together in my living room chair. Aww, so cute!

Sim Deprived

Why is it that as soon as you don't have the ability to do something, you instantly want to do it? In my case, my desktop computer is temporarily broken down, and since it's the one that my Sims game is on, with it out of commission, I am currently unable to play (I have the game on my laptop, up to the University expansion pack, but I loaned the discs out to my friend, since I wasn't using them, and you can't play without the CD, so I'm out of luck). So of course all I can think of is wanting to play it. It kills me.

Today is the last day of holidailies. I managed to make it through the whole month and only missed one day, and I made that entry up the next day. Yay me! Anyone who found me through holidailies, hi! Welcome! Thanks for reading me, and I hope you'll stick around now that holidailies is over. I wouldn't expect daily posts from here on out, though. I may need a break after posting 31 in a row.

And to show how much I really am running out of steam, I am going to end this entry now and go watch the last disc of season four of Smallville. I am now caught up with the DVDs. So when does season five go into repeats? I'm going to miss my Clark Kent fix! Have a great night, and weekend in case I don't update tomorrow!

(p.s. Thanks for skating with me today Sarah! It was fun!)

Interview

So the interview went pretty well. I wrote yesterday about the whole situation, and touched on what a weird feeling I was having about it, and that feeling carried into today for sure. I just keep going back and forth on whether or not I want to even consider changing jobs, and unfortunately I'm still waffling even after the interview.

Anyway, the job is a marketing position that would entail some writing, some design, some editing, and various other duties that go along with marketing. It definitely is something that would challenge me for a while, but it is also definitely stuff I would be able to do. It just means leaving the comfort zone; you know, how when you've had a job for a little while, you get used to it and learn how to do everything well enough that you don't have to think about it much anymore, and it becomes very comfortable. That is where I am in my current job - comfortable, but not yet bored. Taking this job, if it is offered to me, would rip me out of that comfort zone and put me into a position of being challenged and having to work very hard to make sure I am doing everything to the best of my ability. Which is definitely not a bad thing.

So I was in the interview, and the talking portion of it went fine, and she had me do some editing and look through some folders of stuff the previous person had done, and the whole time I was doing the editing I was thinking, I don't know why I'm doing this, I'm not even going to take this job. But then when I was talking about it to the people I currently work with, I was thinking how fun it could be to have a job that was creative and challenging. See? Waffling.

And everyone at work (with the possible exception of Jamie, who has this week off and is probably not reading this) knows that I had an interview for the job. I told my boss this morning when she came in (she was out yesterday) and she was like, "that's great!" And I thought, wow, I'm glad you're going to miss me. But I know she was just being supportive. And she started giving Sarah some things today that I usually do, like she was training her to take over when I left, which I thought was funny. And our phone technician was very much not wanting me to go, saying that she was happy for me, but being very clear that she didn't want me to leave, which was very sweet. And she said before she left, "why do they have to take her now? Why can't they wait a while?" Very sweet. And Sarah doesn't want me to go, even though there is a chance that she might able to go full-time if I do, because she is my friend (also, she doesn't want to have to work with annoying boy three days a week, hee). So the reactions of people have been very nice. Even though I was sitting there all day thinking, "I don't even know if I want it!"

But I think I do. If they offer it to me, even though I wish it paid more than it does, I will probably take it. So we'll see.

And I was given homework, too. I have to write up a fake press release to give to the HR person tomorrow. So I'm off to search the web to find out how to write a good press release. Have a great night! I"ll let you know how this all turns out. Although it may take a couple of weeks to find out. (Oh, one thing that I thought was very funny and positive - at one point the HR person asked me what skills I want to develop, and I said I would like to learn more about graphic design and about the publishing programs that I don't have much experience with, and she actually clapped her hands and smiled and said, "this would be perfect for you!" So, yeah. I take that as a good sign.) (Now watch, just because I'm being so positive, I won't get the job. Isn't that how things work?) Okay, I'm off to write my fake press release. Bye!

(Oh, and Sarah - we got the okay to skate in the gym. Did you get your skates from your Mom?)

Interesting Tuesday

If you read the post titled Interesting Monday, you'll know that the human resources person at my place of employment pulled me into her office a week before the holiday break to tell me about a marketing position that was going to be posted the next day. And just so you'll all know how many times she contacted me about this job, she let me know a couple of days later that it was taking her longer than she had expected to get the posting out, but that it was coming. And then the day before we left for break, she asked me if I had seen it, because it had come out that day. And I had in fact seen it - Jamie printed it out for me. (That's three times that she had talked to me about it, and none of them were prompted by me.)

That was all before the holiday break. Then we had 10 days off to relax, and I didn't think much about work at all, including this job opportunity. Until this morning, when she e-mailed me to ask me if I was interested in interviewing for the job (that would be four). The job that I had never really told her I wanted to apply for. I said yes, of course, because I'm no dummy, and asked if there would be on the job training and what the pay scale would be. The answers were yes, and an amount that is only $1.07 more per hour than I make now. She set up an inteview for tomorrow at 3:00.

I have such conflicting feelings about this whole thing. I've never in my life been pursued like this by an HR person for a job opening. And I have to consider it being pursued - wouldn't you agree, based on the above info? And the thing is, I really like my current job. I am perfectly content there, and don't have any desire to leave. That being said, I am not about to turn down a job with more potential for growth, if it is offered to me. So, like I said, I'm conflicted. But only in a good way. I mean, I can't lose no matter what the outcome - worst case scenario, I keep a job where I am perfectly happy. Best case scenario, I get a new job with new challenges and a dollar more an hour pay.

But I can't help wondering - what alternate universe did I fall into when I got this job? I haven't written about this yet, so you guys don't know the history of this. I had a job I loved at Syracuse University, but I lost it when the journal I was working for moved to Illinois. But I had been there for five years, the last three of which were during a time when I was fighting a pretty mean depression after the loss of my Mom. So I wasn't too sad to say good-bye to that job (the time had most definitely come). But it was followed by a summer of unemployment and then a job that I hated from the moment I walked in and sat down on my first day. Seriously, I hated that job from that first moment, and had to fight everything in me that was telling me to run in the opposite direction. And yet I stayed there for just about a year, at which point I couldn't take it anymore, and I wasn't having any luck finding a better job, and I decided to go back to school.

When I made the decision to return to college to pursue my bachelor's degree, I was kind of jumping off a building without a net. I didn't have a job to go to, my school loan money would only take me through part of the first semester, and I had no guarantee that the situation would work out to my benefit. I was again unemployed for a couple of months, and then I took a job, out of desperation, at the local mom & pop grocery store - another job that I hated. And I had been there for a couple of months when I saw a listing for the job that I have now, only it started out part-time temporary while someone was on maternity leave. So I kept the grocery job and worked both while still going to school, until it was decided that the woman wasn't coming back, and the position was made permanent. And then someone got fired and I was made full-time (and they kind of pursued me for the full-time position, too), and I've loved every minute of it. So see what I mean? It just feels like I was somehow meant to end up in this organization. And since I work for the same college where I'm taking classes, I'm able to both at the same time, although I've gone part-time on the classes.

Sorry for the long winded story. The point is, this job I have seems almost too good to be true, after the jobs that came before it, and now this other position seems almost over my head, but I know I can do it if they'll train me, and it seems like they will, and that seems too good to be true. If someone wakes me up now and this whole thing turns out to be a dream, I just may shoot them. I'll update with interview news tomorrow, and after that whenever I find out what happens. And now, I have to go recreate my resume, because I don't have an electronic version, and I need to come up with a writing sample. Because, did I mention? This job includes writing as part of its responsibilities. (The one thing I've ever really wanted to be was a writer. This may not be the kind of writing I had in mind, but it'll do.) Wish me luck.

Summer Vacation Plans

I mentioned in passing the other day that my sister and I are planning a trip this summer. We've been talking about taking a sister's trip for a couple of years now, but it has never worked out - I usually have money problems, and she usually has family things to attend to. This summer, though, if I have anything to say about it, we are actually going to go. I am determined of this, because our destination is Williamsburg, VA. That doesn't sound all that exciting, does it? Land of history, where there is a whole section of town where people dress up like they still live in colonial times, and then they proceed to bore you with all the details of how people lived 400 years ago. Yawn. But! Williamsburg is also the home of Busch Gardens.

When I was ten years old, my parents and I moved to Virginia. We moved because my step-father, who was a brick mason, couldn't find much work up here in central New York, and what he could find was seasonal, meaning that he was unemployed for four or five months out of the year. He and my Mom decided to move so that he could find more regular work, and they decided to move to Virginia because at the time my oldest brother was stationed there with the Air Force. We moved to Newport News and lived there for two years, and then we moved to Williamsburg.

Now, I never really felt at home in Virginia. I liked it well enough, but I always seemed to feel something pulling me back north. But one thing I did love while I was there was Busch Gardens. I started going with my friends, and in fact had season's passes every year while I was growing up - once my parents could afford them, that is. I rode my first roller coaster there - the Loch Ness Monster. I went with some high school friends, who convinced me to try it. I was terrified, but I got on. I probably wouldn't have if they weren't with me, but they were, so I did. I must have had more adrenaline running through my body than I had ever had before, because when I got off my legs were literally shaking. But I loved it - I was hooked. We walked off the ride, went back around and got right back in line to go again. It was fantastic. To this day, the Loch Ness is my favorite roller coaster, for admittedly sentimental reasons.

Then, during the summer between my junior and senior years in high school, I worked at Busch. I was an "area hostess," which was a nice way of saying that I walked around with a broom and dustpan, picking up people's cigarette butts and garbage. My least favorite part was cleaning the bathrooms (although they were air conditioned, and a nice place to retreat to when the weather got too hot), my most favorite was working when there was a concert - I could stand outside and do my job while hearing the concert for free. Not that they ever had anyone great - it was a family park, that very rarely got any rock musicians. Still, it was fun.

I only worked there that one year, but I continued to go back as often as I could every summer that I lived there. Then my Mom and I moved back north in 1994, after the death of my step-dad, and I haven't been back since. But then at Christmas my sister brought up the idea of finally taking that sister's trip, and we decided to go to Virginia and go to Busch, and I've been amped about it ever since. The map is my current desktop wallpaper (and is at the top of this entry). I've been going over it, and not only have they added two new roller coasters since I was there last, they've also added a whole new country! (The park's theme is the old world, and the park is separated into European countries - Italy, Germany, England, etc. I worked in France that summer.) To the right of England is now Ireland.

Obviously I am very excited about this trip. I have figured out how much money I will need to take with me (way too much, it's kind of scary to think about), I have downloaded the map and read the whole Busch Gardens website - if my sister backs out this time, I may have to shoot her. Busch Gardens here I come! We'll be there in June, so you had better start preparing.

Social Monster

In the past, I have been a very anti-social person. Not because I didn't want to have people around me, but because I didn't have many close friends who lived within a reasonable distance, so I just tended to be by myself a lot. It got old, but I was used to it. Lately, however, I have had the chance to be more social by making friends who actually live in the same county as I do, and it's ruined me.

Take this week, for example. I have had a total of 10 days off (well, tomorrow is the tenth). Out of the last nine days, I've spent part of one with Sarah, two with my sister, and two with Jamie. That has only left me alone on four of those days, and I at least chatted online or spoke on the phone to someone each of those days. Except today.

Today I have been at my house all day. I got up super late (for me - 9:40, my personal best for this vacation), and since then I've been completely without human contact. No phone calls, no IMs, no visits here or elsewhere. In fact, I haven't even left the house except to let the dogs out. And it's killing me! I have to get together with someone tomorrow, or I think I'll go insane. Sarah, Jamie, Sally and Donna, you've created a social monster! And she needs attention. I may have to name this social monster, if she's going to stick around. Jamie called me skater chick in an IM yesterday. Maybe we can call her that; SC for short. What do you think?

Ahem. Okay, sorry about that little break from reality. I'll go back to my Sims now. And wait for my phone to ring or my IM to bleep. :)

2005 Recap

I've never been much of a baseball fan, but I sure do love baseball movies. Or at least the ones that are on tonight. I came home tonight after hanging out with Jamie for the afternoon, and Field of Dreams was on. I love that movie so much - I really don't understand why I don't have it on DVD yet. And that movie has been followed up by A League of Their Own - another great baseball movie. What a great way to spend part of New Year's Eve! Add to that some Sims and some IMing with friends and it's a pretty great way to spend the last night of 2005. Although, I would have loved to have some company. :)

So as the old year prepares to end and the new one begin, I thought I'd do the typical recap of the last year. In 2005, I went full-time at my current job, made two great friends (hi Sarah and Jamie!), finally met an old friend in person (and loved hanging out with her and want her to come back and visit again soon), lost my dog Bailey in June, lost my dog Bo in July, adopted my dog Willow in August, adopted my cat Sable after she turned up in my basement last winter, got a new computer (mostly so that I could play the Sims the way it was meant to be played), watched lots of great TV, got addicted to caffeine and then quit it for a while, and didn't have any kind of sex whatsoever (feel free to cry for me). I also lost a grandmother whom I never knew and was surprised to be affected by the loss, got an unexpected call from my very uncommunicative brother (not the one I wrote about before, although I did hear from him on Christmas day) and of course rediscovered skating, and thanks to Sally's gift certificate, I got myself a pair of roller skates. Not the best of years, but certainly not the worst of years.

In 2006 I hope to not lose anyone, human, canine or feline. I also hope to be a little less in debt by the end of the year. And if I manage to get some action before the end of the year, that would be very nice. :) I also hope to actually take a trip with my sister to Virginia in June, instead of just planning it and not going, to take a trip to Tennessee in April to see my oldest brother get married, and have lots of fun with my friends. And hey, losing some weight and getting more in shape would be a welcome thing (but that's not a New Year's resolution, because those are doomed to fail in my life).

Good-bye 2005! I'm ready to see what 2006 has to bring.

24 Hours

Sometimes the dark mood takes hold. My head feels somehow thicker or heavier; my brow tenses. I want nothing more than to climb into bed in the dark, and just lay there. Not go to sleep, not watch TV, not read a book - just lay there, in the dark, doing nothing. I'm an upbeat person by nature, but sometimes even us cheery people get down. This kind of mood can be prompted by many things - the hormones of the week before my period, loneliness, grief (the three years after my Mom died, almost all of my time was spent in this dark place), or what prompted it last night - financial problems.

Now, these problems are very temporary in nature, and I've been in much worse shape over the years. But I was expecting some money to come in - not much, just about $300 - but I was counting on it to pay a few bills, and it didn't come, and I can't find out why until after the New Year, and one of the companies that I was going to pay with that money called yesterday afternoon to remind me that I owe them, and! I don't have to be reminded, believe me, it's been at the top of my mind for a couple of weeks now. But the money didn't come, and that's not my fault, and I had no other way of getting my hands on the money short of borrowing from friends (thanks for the offer, by the way, it means a lot that you trust me and care about me enough to make it) and I am not about to do that. I mean, my next paycheck will be here on Tuesday, and then I'll be able to catch up with just about everybody.

And I was in that dark place all afternoon and night yesterday, and I was still there when I woke up this morning. I didn't want to get out of bed, but I couldn't just lay there all day, and besides, the cats were hungry. So I got up. And when the cats and dog were fed and the dog had been outside, I came into the living room and opened all of the curtains except for the one right next to my desk - that one stayed shut so that I could continue to hide. And it stayed shut, and I stayed sitting in my chair, watching stupid mindless sitcoms on daytime TV, with that tense feeling in my forehead, all morning. And I tried to get a credit limit increase on my credit cards so that I could use one to pay this company that had called, and I couldn't. And I tried to call the company I was expecting the money from, andI got voice mail. And the mail came and I ran out to the mailbox to see if the check had finally (please god) come, and it hadn't. And somehow I let go of the tension. It was now beyond my control. It's the Friday before New Year's, so all of the offices involved - the company I owe, the company I was expecting the check from - are going to be closed, most likely until Tuesday, and by that time I'll have my paycheck and the bill(s) will be paid. And somehow through the simple act of letting go, the dark mood started to lift.

Now this lifting isn't an instant thing, but I played some Sims, I took a hot shower, and I even walked down into the (scary, spiderwebby) basement and checked my fuel oil level and found out that I'm further from running out than I thought I was, so I came upstairs and turned my furnace up to 62 degrees. Because 58 is just too darn cold. And then I watched an episode of Smallville, ignoring the fact that Netflix hasn't received two of my DVDs that I mailed back, even though they were mailed Friday and Saturday, because they will show up eventually. And then I put on my skates and I freaked the dog out again by skating around the dining room. And I took a dish to the kitchen sink, while wearing my skates, and marveled at how different everything looks when I'm suddenly 3 or 4 inches taller than my normal 5'2". And I put on my headphones and hit shuffle on the mp3 player and listened (am listening) to some of my favorite songs play just for me.

And while I'm sitting here writing this, my feet are rolling back and forth underneath me, because I'm still wearing my skates. And almost exactly 24 hours after that dark mood hit me, it is just about gone. Thank goodness that old saying is true: what a difference a day makes.

Hitting the Vacation Stride

Well, I can finally tell I'm on vacation. I did wake up at 6:30 this morning, but I went back to sleep and didn't get up until 8:51. Not bad! And I spent the morning playing the Sims. I moved a family into a house that I built a long time ago but had never played, and I love it! I swear, if I won the lottery I would build it for myself. Unless I fell in love with another house by then, anyway. :)

I spent the afternoon over at Jamie's today. We watched The Goonies, which I had borrowed from Sarah, and then we watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer - the movie, not the TV show. I hadn't watched the movie in a long time - I forgot how fun it was, even though the show was much better as far as the slayer storyline went. Anyway, we watched movies and I played with his kitten and we ate ham and tater tots for dinner, and it was a fun time. Even if his kitten did give me some new scratches! She's a playful one.

Tonight I watched a movie that my sister had given me for Christmas last year but I had never watched. It's actually a disc with two Elizabeth Taylor movies on it. I've never been a huge fan of hers, but I was in an old movie mood tonight, so I popped it in and watched Father's Little Dividend, which would really be more appropriate on a Spencer Tracy DVD, because it was definitely more his movie than Elizabeth Taylor's, but it was very good. I love old movies. I used to love watching them on AMC before they started playing commercials - now I pretty much boycott that channel, because I can't stand watching commercials. I don't like them on TV, I don't like them on the radio (I listen to my mp3 player in the car, with a cassette stereo adapter), and I especially don't like them on channels that didn't used to show them but now do. Anyway, the movie was very good. And you've gotta love a movie that still has married couples sleeping in twin beds. What the heck is that about? Oh, the '50s. The era of women staying home and taking care of babies that somehow magically appear even though the parents slept in separate beds. Thank goodness for women's lib and a more accepting viewing public that finally let married couples sleep together on TV and in the movies.

And on a totally different subject, I didn't write about this the other day, but my sister and I are planning to take a trip in June. It's going to be our first annual sister's trip (although my nieces may end up coming too), and we're planning on going to Virginia to go to Busch Gardens, as well as to go shopping at the area places. I grew up in Williamsburg - we lived here in New York until I was 10, then we moved down there. I haven't been back since I moved back to NY in 1994, so it'll be really interesting to see how much has changed. And I can't wait to go to Busch again. My first job was there, the summer between junior and senior year, the first roller coaster I ever rode is there (the Loch Ness Monster), and I just can't wait to see it again. And that gives me six months to get back into shape a bit. Now if I can just stop this habit of eating when I'm bored...

Okay, now it's 9:40 at night and I am not tired (see above, re: getting up at 8:51 this morning). There's nothing on TV and I'm done with the Sims for the day, so I'm off to find some other way to waste time. Have a great night!

Picture of the day:


Willow poses pretty for the camera. Seconds after this picture was taken, I'm sure she started barking for no reason and generally started annoying the heck out of me. It's just lucky for her that she's so darn cute.