Christmas Domesticity

The Christmas spirit hasn’t always visited me during the holiday season. There have been years when I’ve wanted to ignore the very existence of Christmas; in these years, I didn’t put up a tree, didn’t hang a single decoration or light. The season passed by unnoticed, but for the day spent at my sister’s house and the gifts given and received. Then there have been years where I’ve been enough in the spirit to put up a small tree, and to hang at least a few decorations, but without going overboard. A little decoration went a long way in years like those, and a big tree, outside lights, wall decorations, banister garland and Christmas knick-knacks were never unpacked. This year I have landed squarely in the land of Christmas overload.

Actually, overload may be an overstatement of the situation – I have definitely seen people go way further than I do, after all. I have lights outside, but they are just simple icicle lights, hung around the porch to light it up and make it festive. I have decorations on the walls, but only two large quilted stockings that my mother bought years ago. I have garland and lights on the banisters, with stockings hung from them; I have a Christmas rug on the floor by the television; I have paper bells and balls hung from the ceiling. And of course I have a large (fake) Christmas tree in the living room and a small (fake) tree in my bedroom. But the knick knacks were put back away without being put out, and Christmas doesn’t permeate any room in my house other than the living room and bedroom. But for all that it could be more than it is, it is more than it was last year, and it gives the house a nice holiday glow.

I find the holiday spirit hitting me more in other ways than decorating, however. I took great glee in purchasing a long list of gifts for J, D, Jamie, Sarah and the person whose name I drew in my sister’s family name drawing. I bought wrapping paper and happily wrapped up the two packages that came in the mail Monday. I can’t wait to give away all of the gifts that I picked out for everyone, and to receive what they are giving me this year. And? I have the rather urgent desire to bake.

I have always liked to bake, but I haven’t done it much in quite a few years. I don’t even have the basic baking necessities in my house – I have some sugar, but there’s no flour, no brown sugar, no confectionary sugar, no shortening, and definitely no (fresh) eggs. I think that might all be changing, though, because I find myself filled with a desire to bake cookies of many different kinds – definitely sugar and chocolate chip, and whatever else I find in my cookbook that looks interesting. I want to make homemade (not from a box mix) blueberry muffins. I found a recipe on the Lactaid website for making lactose free Whoopie Pies (a treat that is usually found in Maine, and which look absolutely yummy) and I want to make those. And I want to make fudge.

Now, fudge is something that I can’t have if anyone else makes it, and I can’t have any from a bakery or store, because I can’t digest milk. However, thanks to the invention of Lactaid milk, if I can find a recipe that takes milk (not evaporated milk), that isn’t too difficult, I think I can make fudge and be able to eat it – I just need to substitute Lactaid for the regular milk. The problem, though, is going to be finding a recipe that isn’t too difficult. I’ve never made anything that required boiling syrup until it gets to any sort of ribbon consistency or whatever, and I don’t think I want to attempt that now. But if I can find a good recipe that doesn’t require that, and that will allow a substitution of dairy free Lactaid for the regular milk, I want to make it this year.

If I actually do all of this baking, I will be able to give baked goods to J’s family when I go over there on Christmas Day. I’ll be able to take some to my sister’s house for her very large family to enjoy. And I’ll be able to have some at my house for J and I to enjoy during the week between Christmas and New Year’s.

Where does all this newfound domesticity come from? Is it just something that would have hit me anyway, or is it to do with J’s existence in my life? I have no idea. All I know is that I’m enjoying being fully embedded in the Christmas spirit, and I am looking forward to spending this holiday season with family and friends, and in my warm house, with the trees lit and shining, the banister glowing, the cats knocking ornaments off the tree, while sharing the season with the guy with whom I am falling in love. For this year, at least, wrap me up in ribbons and bows, because I am ready for the holiday.