Memories Old and New

The sounds of holiday music filled the house as J and I hung out in the kitchen this morning. I stirred up some peanut butter cookie dough to put in the fridge, and then mixed up some homemade chocolate chip cookies to bake. J hung out and petted the critters, and then when the first batch of cookies went into the oven, we sat and read our books (still Lisey's Story for me, and a story about the Miami Dolphins and their perfect 1972 season for him) while the smell of cookies permeated every inch of airspace.

As I was baking, the radio was tuned to a station that is playing holiday music non-stop until Christmas, and memories of my mother were all over me as they played her favorite holiday music, like Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree and Jingle Bell Rock. I could close my eyes and imagine her in the kitchen of my childhood home, singing along and dancing. "Everyone's dancing merrily in the new old fashioned way," she would sing, and the glint would be in her eyes and that smile would be on her face - that special happy smile that had a hint of mischievousness in it. And I stood there spooning out cookie dough, periodically looking over at J, who was looking at me as much as he was his book, and I thought how happy she would be for me right now. Every mother's wish is for their children to be happy, and I finally am.

Now the smell of peanut butter cookies is still filling the house, the tree is lit, the banister is lit, and the gladness fills my heart. And that man who loves me, and who thinks that I am perfect as I am, is waiting for me to finish this so that we can watch a movie, so I'm going to stop talking about my life on the Internet and go live it.