Riding the Coaster

Riding the roller coaster of PMS is never a fun experience. I got up today feeling absolutely miserable and sad and down and oh man, my mind was not a pleasant place to be. I shuffled out of bed at 6:17 a.m., trudged outside with the dogs and greeted the still black day. I looked over to the east and saw just the barest hint of pink on the edges of the horizon. Oh, how I love getting up before the sun.

Once the dogs had finished their business, I went in and scooped the cat litter, and for once Gracie didn't jump into the second pan right before I went to pick it up to clean it. When the pans were once again clean and the house was saved from smelling like a dirty litter box for another day, I fed the dogs and then gave the cats their treats. After filling the cats' food dish and getting out my clothes, I went into the bathroom and started preparing to face the day. A shower is just about the only thing that ever wakes me up in the morning, and this morning was certainly no exception. I shampooed, filling the air with the smell of strawberries, and by the time I put the conditioner in my hair, I was pretty much awake. I even managed to shave my calves without peeling a chunk of skin out of my ankle, even though the razor is way past needing to be thrown away. The day was looking up.

I left the house as the sun was breaking the horizon, and drove to work in the early morning half light. I got stuck behind a couple of school buses, but only for a short while, and then they turned off into the high school. As I drove down the country road leading to the town where I work, my mp3 player, which was on shuffle, threw an Alice Cooper song at me, making me think of J - he's a big fan, and is the reason Alice is on my player in the first place. I couldn't sing along, because I don't know the words, but I enjoyed the song, and it made me think of J, so that's a good thing. And when that song was over, a Billy Joel song came on, and I have to think that there is a certain craziness in that pairing. It worked, but only in a strange way.

I got to work, and today is a party day! I was still in a sad mood after I got to work at 7:30, but then they had a holiday breakfast party next door in my old office, and I went and crashed it. I immediately had a chocolate doughnut with chocolate frosting (yum), and the sugar did wonders for my mood. Chocolate, especially in the form of a doughnut, can cure most any bad mood, can't it? It's a wonder. The chocolately sugar and sitting and chatting with Sarah (the bringer of the doughnuts), Jamie and their boss was just the cure I needed to lift my mood. I came back to my office in good spirits again. These down moods don't hit me very often, and luckily when they do, they lift pretty easily. I love having a naturally up nature.

When I got back to my office, it was to find a card from my general manager and a gift from my boss in my mailbox. My boss gave me a $2 scratch off lottery ticket (I didn't win, but I had fun scratching) and a holiday Snickers nutcracker. My GM gave me a beautiful card with a wolf on it (I love wolves), with a $25 gift card for the company owned restaurant in it. The restaurant makes a great chicken sandwich, so I was very happy for that gift. It will be used and enjoyed.

And after doing a little work (imagine, working on party day!), we had our holiday lunch/secret Santa party. More food, until I was so full I was about to burst, and then gift giving! I sucked at figuring out who my secret Santa was - I would never make a detective. There were three possibilities, and I picked wrong twice. D'oh! Oh well. My final gift was very cute. Do you want to see? Let me take a picture of it.

Okay, here you go. Isn't it cute?

Now that the secret Santa lunch is over, I'm back at work, eagerly awaiting 4:00, when I can go home and get a huge hug from J. I have needed that hug all day. And he's bringing me bagels and chocolate milk for dinner, which is just perfect. He's a good guy.

Oh, and I was reading through Ladyloo's blog earlier - I found her through holidailies, and have been reading her earliest archives. And she wrote a line that I copied and pasted into Word, so that I would have it for this entry. She had been recovering from a break-up with her boyfriend, and wrote this: "…and where the hell is my boy that likes me, and falls in love with me without really knowing me. Cuz that's what I want." I read that (and this is incredibly mushy, so bear with me if you're not a hopeless romantic), and I thought - hey, that's what I have. I found that guy. After 37 years of finding the wrong guys and not finding any guys at all for a while, I finally have that guy in my life. I appreciate him more than he can possibly know, and fall more and more in love with him with each passing day. I can't wait to spend the holiday break with him. I love you, J.

Okay, now that everyone who isn't J has tossed their cookies from the mushiness, I'll stop. But I am happy to say that I rode that PMS roller coaster back to the top of the hill, and that car is parked now. A coaster with only one dip isn't much of a ride, but a short ride on that coaster is one I'm very grateful for. I hope you all have a great Wednesday night. I plan to.