Gracie

Last night when I went to bed, I read my book for a few minutes before I shut my light off. I was in a good mood, because J and I had spent a nice evening together (he had yesterday off), but for some reason as soon as I shut off my light, I started thinking about Gracie (pictured right there). I realized I had only seen her once that evening after work and before bed, and when I did, she was sitting in front of the mudroom, meowing very low and pitifully. I lay there, getting more and more worried about her, so I finally got up to look for her. I wasn't ever going to get to sleep if I didn't. I searched the house and didn't find her. Zelda and Sable were following me around, meowing, apparently thinking this was a fun new game to play at almost 10:00 at night, but there wasn't any sign of Gracie. Finally I opened the mudroom door and called her name, and I heard her meowing from inside the couch.

Yes, you read that right - from inside the couch. This is an old couch that the cats had clawed on the sides, opening a hole where they can climb in and out. They like to sleep in there sometimes. I called to Gracie, trying to get her to come out, but she wasn't interested at all. I tried pulling her out, and she yelled like I was killing her, so I just went to bed and left her there. I got up at 2:00 or so to use the bathroom, and checked on her again, and she still showed no sign of wanting to come out, so I left her again.

This morning when J got up and got ready for work, he went in and pulled her out of the couch for me. He said she yelled like he was trying to kill her, too, but he put her down on the futon and she ran upstairs, and looked fine. I got up 40 minutes or so after he left, and took care of the dogs and scooped the litter and went to give the kitties their treats. Sable came running, as did Zelda and Lucy, and even Kate came out of her house to get some, but no Gracie. So I called her and called her, and when she didn't come, I took some treats upstairs to the cupboard where we keep some blankets - the cats like to sleep there. And there she was, all snuggled up. I gave her the treats, and petted her head, and she was fine, except that her right front leg looked funny. I moved her leg around, and it felt like it wasn't even attached to her body. It was very weird.

So I got a little freaked, frankly. It was just about 7:00 in the morning. I tried calling my vet's office, but they weren't open yet. So I called J to see if he had noticed anything wrong with her yesterday or when he pulled her out this morning, and he hadn't. He didn't see her much yesterday when he was home, and she ran upstairs fine this morning. So I had no idea what had happened or when. I figured whatever it was it must have happened at some point yesterday, though - that's why she was hiding in the couch.

So I took my shower and got dressed, and then it was finally 7:30, when the vet's office would be open. I got them on the phone, and got an appointment for 9:00. Good. They'll take care of her.

I was pretty much ready to go, but it was only 7:40 or so at this point, and I didn't have to leave until 8:30. So I went online and checked my e-mail, let the dogs out, and went out to the garage to get the cat carrier, then cleaned it up and lined it with a couple of towels for her to lay on. Then I went up and picked her up off the blanket where she was sleeping with Lucy, and put her in the carrier - which was much easier than it could have been, but she still fought, even with one leg out of commission.

We got to the vet, and I filled out the paperwork for her, and asked if I could do a payment plan, and the receptionist told me that they don't normally do those, but she would ask the vet. Which made me sweat a little, because I am B-R-O-K-E broke! Btu luckily I used to work there, and the vets know me and like me, so they said yes to the payment plan. Whew! And the Dr. looked Gracie over and took her back for an x-ray, where she managed to spray her anals all over. Ha! That's my girl. She was a little stinky when they brought her back, but she had shown them, so it was fine. And the vet finally came back in and told me that Gracie's elbow is broken. :( Poor kitty. The type of break that it is usually comes from them either getting their leg caugt in or on something, and it gets broken when they're freeing themselves, or she may have jumped to the floor from somewhere and landed wrong. I'll never know which.

Long story short (is it too late? I think it might be), she is in the vet's office now. They're keeping her until tomorrow. My options were a super expensive surgery or wrapping her leg and hoping it heals well, which it should if she doesn't move around too much. So tonight when we get home, J and I are going to set up Willow's dog crate in the mudroom, and I'll set it up with some bedding for her, a small litter pan and a dish for her food and water. At the vet's suggestion, she is going to be confined to the crate for 4-6 weeks, until her leg is healed. That way she won't be able to move around too much and she won't be able to jump. It's like kitty bed rest. I'll post pictures of her in her crate once she's home and set up, and I'll give updates on her until she's all better.

And as for me? I was more stressed this morning than I have been in a long time. But she's going to be fine. So it's okay. So what if I'll be even more overextended financially? At least my cat will be okay.

Sims and Reading and Other Stuff

I need to take some new pictures to post here. I haven't had any in a while, it feels like.

This is my first normal week of work since before the holidays. It's weird to think that I could have gone three weeks without working a normal five day week, but I did. Well, actually, I worked all of last week, but I was out of town for work the first two days of the week, so it wasn't exactly a normal week.

Anyway. Last night I went to my sister's house for dinner for the first time since Christmas, and it was so nice to see her and her family again. I missed seeing them. Her son didn't know I had gotten engaged, because he wasn't there when I stopped by on Christmas night with J. So he gave me a high 5, which was cute. She has a great family.

When I left there, I drove through the snow and got home to spend the evening alone - J was at work. So I took care of the dogs and changed into my pjs and hung out at my desk in the living room. I watched some TV off the DVR, and I got the pictures together for my next Sims legacy chapter. And when I was done, I picked up my book and started reading.

I don't think I mentioned in here, but I got an amazon gift card from my friend Sally for Christmas, and I spent it on the next expansion pack for the Sims (which comes out in February) and the Philip Pullman trilogy. I had been wanting to read that for a while, and thanks to the movie coming out recently, they are in print in a boxed set. And I LOVE the first book! I just want to keep picking it up and reading more. If I could get away with reading at work, I would. It's great. I haven't been reading for recreation much lately, and it feels really good to be this into a book again. I missed it.

Not Much

My eyes have been feeling hot and tired all day at work today. Is it because it's hot in here? Or from staring at the computer screen all day? I have no idea, but they felt fine outside and at lunch, so it's definitely the office. Sigh.

I'm so happy to be back to a regular schedule at work again. The long break at the holidays was really nice, but since then I've made up time last week by working long hours, and then I had to go on that trip the first two days of this week, so working just a normal, 8-4:30 shift the rest of this week feels like heaven. Of course, this doesn't mean I wouldn't rather be home playing the Sims and petting the dogs and cats, but you know. :)

And wow, I am really out of things to say now, so. Bye! :)

Home Again, Jiggety Jig

I'm back home after my short work trip, and so happy to be here! I got home, thinking that J wouldn't be home for another half an hour or so, but he was here! He surprised me. :) I was so happy to see him. And I came into the house, and when the dogs saw me, they got all excited - especially Willow. I feel so loved! :)

I had a good trip home. I had a friend from work riding with me, so I had conversation on the way there and back, which was nicer than being all alone. And oh man, it's so warm out today! Jen (the friend from work) said when we stopped for lunch that she felt like she was on a road trip in Virginia, it was so nice out. How often can you walk around without a jacket in Central New York in January? Not very freaking often, I'll tell you that.

And now it's 8:15 at night, and the cats are coming around to welcome me back (they're not as demonstrative of their love as the dogs, but it's nice to know they missed me, too), while I play the Sims and watch Law & Order: SVU. It's nice to be home.

Oh, and also - J doesn't decorate for Valentine's Day, but while I was gone? He bought two strings of heart lights and strung them up in the living room. :) He's the sweetest.

Hotel Entry

I had to go out of town for work, so I'm sitting in a hotel, my laptop on my lap (ironic, huh?), watching an episode of Friends. And of course, wishing I were at home, because I miss my J. :) But the trip has been fine. I got here safely, and the meetings haven't been too horribly boring. I had to go to a cocktail reception earlier, which I was dreading, because I usually suck at those things, but I got to hang out with three other people from work, so it wasn't bad. I got to avoid socializing with anyone else, so it was a successful night. And then there was dinner. Woo, free burger! :)

The funniest part of the whole evening, though, was fitting nine people in a seven passenger van. Ha! I ended up riding back to the hotel with my boss sitting on my knee. Now that is something you don't say every day.

Also, J is a genius! This is something that happened Saturday, after I posted my entry. J and I had moved the TV up on top of my DVD cupboard, and everything was working fine. Until I went in there with the vacuum cleaner to clean up the dog hair that had been revealed where the end table used to be. I was diligently vacuuming, and suddenly pop! No more power in the bedroom. J went down to look for the popped breaker, and there weren't any. We tried them all, and still no lights. We had no idea what was going on. I called our fix-it guy, but he never called me back all weekend, so we didn't have any power in the bedroom for the rest of the weekend. Sigh. But! J went to work this morning and was talking to some people, and got an idea of what it could be, and when he came home, all he did was unplug the TV, which wasn't plugged in all the way, and plug it in the rest of the way, and ta dah! The power came back on. So, yeah - he's a genius. I wish I were there enjoying the power right now. And the lesson I'm taking from this is that I should never vacuum again. :)

And now since I'm in a hotel room by myself, I think I might plug in the Sims and see if I can play without an external mouse. Night, folks!

No More Christmas

I got a great night of sleep last night, thank goodness. I got up at about 8:00 or 7:30 or something like that, and still felt like I could have kept on sleeping. It felt great, though.

Today J's brother came out to our house for the first time. He agreed to help J move a dresser here that was still at J's house. So J went out to his house and met his brother there, and they brought it home. I think his brother liked the house - it's very large, so it's impressive to someone who isn't used to a house this size. And it was just nice to have another member of J's family see the house and come out to visit, even if he didn't stay long.

Of course, since I knew he was coming, I spent the time after J left and before they got back cleaning. :) I dusted the furniture (and it needed it desperately), cleaned the toilet, cleaned the sheet for the futon, rinsed out and bagged up the soda cans and bottles and I was vacuuming when they got here. Oh, and I stripped the bed and made it up with clean sheets. The house looks much cleaner now.

We also are taking down our Christmas decorations today. I took down a lot of the smaller stuff this morning while I was cleaning, and we just finished taking everything off the trees. We have boxes of decorations in the living room that need to be moved upstairs, but before the night is over, Christmas will be gone from our house for another 11 months or so. I love the Christmas season, and I'm happy to see all of the decorations go up, but I'm kind of glad to get the house back to normal when it's all over.

Also, if you see the pretty blue button over there on the bottom, you'll see that I've done something completely foolish. I've signed up for blog 365, which means I have to write a blog every day this year (except for February 29th - we get that off). I don't have to write them all here, though - the posts on my Sims livejournal count. So I shouldn't have too much trouble keeping up with it for a while. I can also post just pictures or a video and it counts, so when I'm at a loss for words, expect to see a picture of a dog or cat. :) I'm not guaranteeing that I'll actually keep this up all year, but I'm going to try. So check here often! I'll be giving you lots to read.

But that's all I'm giving you tonight, because it's almost time to help J carry the decorations upstairs to the storage room. Later!

Sleep? We don't need no freaking sleep!

Gracie likes to be held while I brush my teeth in the morning (she used to like the smell of the mint in the toothpaste, now she just likes being held), so in the time before I start brushing my teeth, she usually sits on the toilet, staring at me like this, until I pick her up. She's a cutie.

So, last night I was so tired that I shut down my computers at 8:50, and had the TV off, the dogs out and in and was in bed by 9:19. But instead of getting comfortable and drifting off to sleep, I lay there wide awake, until about 1:00 this morning. When I first went to bed, I was thinking about my Sims legacy, and about some scenes that I need to get the next time I play, for a plotty bit that is going on right now. And I planned out not just the next couple of scenes, but the whole storyline. And then when I was done, I went over it again. And I tried to shut my brain off to go to sleep, but it wouldn't cooperate at all. Stupid brain. Finally I was laying there kind of whimpering, because I was so tired! And I was supposed to be getting up at 6:00 so that I could be at work at 7:00, and that was never going to happen now. And J woke up and heard me, asked me what was wrong, and I answered him all pathetic, "I've been laying here for 3 1/2 hours, and I've been awake the whole time!" He told me to roll over onto my side, and he started rubbing my back. He is so freaking sweet sometimes that it kills me. He fell asleep a couple of minutes into the rub, and I was still awake, but I still think it did the trick - I had managed to relax enough that I was asleep shortly after. You should all have a J in your life.

And of course I didn't manage to get to work an hour early, like I wanted to, but I did manage the regular time, so that's okay. And all of that planning that I did last night was actually worthwhile, because the plans I made all make sense, even in the bright light of day. Woo! Still, though, tonight? I'm hoping to sleep immediately and for at least eight hours. You hear that, brain?

New Year's Day

It's the last day of holidailies. :( I'm glad to be able to take some time off when I want to, but I'll kind of miss updating every day.

For the second year in a row, J and I stayed up to watch the new year in. This year was much better, though, because I wasn't laying in bed with a sore neck. Woo! I was actually upright at Midnight! J and I watched the ball drop, and we toasted with Diet Pepsi, and of course had our New Year's kiss, and then we went to bed. I never stay up that late! :)

The first day of 2008 was very nice. We relaxed, and I did some crocheting (it's time to get that blanket done - the baby was born days ago!), and J took down the outside Christmas lights and I made us scalloped potatoes and ham for dinner. It was a good day.

And tomorrow I have to go back to work for the first time in 11 days. Sigh. I'm going to work two extra hours a day to make up time (I didn't have enough vacation to cover the whole break), so I'm going from not working at all to working 10 hour days. Double sigh. somehow I'll survive, though. It's only three days after all, and then it's the weekend.

I also need to start my healthier eating soon. Once I run out of the candy from my stocking, that's it - way less snacking. I need to drop my cholesterol and just get healthier again. We'll see how I do with that.

And now this incredibly lame first post of the year is over. Sixty-two days in a row, people - I need a break. Happy New Year!

2007 Wrap-Up

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
I got engaged. :) And of course before that I fell in love with (or continued falling in love with) J, and was amazed at how I could fall more and more in love with every day that went by.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any resolutions last year, because I just felt like anything I resolved would be doomed to fail. This year, however, I need to resolve to eat and live healthier. I need to get my cholesterol down to a healthy range again, and I need to avoid getting diabetes or anything else my Mother had.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My nephew's fiance just gave birth to a little girl a few days ago. :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I lost my step-grandmother just before Christmas. She was really old and ready to go, so I didn't grieve too much for her, but I did find out in the process that there are still things about my Mother's death to affect me, this time namely having to go to the funeral home where I last saw her for the first time since she died. Death sucks.

5. What countries did you visit?
Only this one.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A million dollars? To pay off all of my and J's bills, so that he can quit the job he hates. But since I don't play the lottery and I don't have any rich old relatives, that's not going to happen. So I would say - simply enough money to pay all of my bills and maybe even have a little left to save for emergencies.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Christmas morning, because it's when I got my ring. :) I love being engaged, just as much as I always dreamed I would.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being the woman J needed, and opening myself up enough to accept his love, despite the fears I had to go through at the end of 2006.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I feel like I've failed hugely in the realm of finances, but then again, that's nothing new. I've been broke on and off from the time I moved out of my parents' home in 1988. Sigh. Right now I just keep looking ahead to two years from now, when I can get a home equity loan to pay off a whole heck of a lot of bills. And hoping that I can learn from my past mistakes to keep this situation from ever happening to me again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, thank goodness.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Um...nothing really sticks out in my mind. But then again, I don't buy much.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Can I be selfish and say J's? Because he asked me to marry him, which I thought would never happen to me, and I am going to celebrate that everyday for the rest of my life.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Well, the whole media focus on celebrities (namely Britney Spears) is sickening. Do we really need to watch every move she makes? Or any other celebrity, for that matter?

14. Where did most of your money go?
BILLS!!! Namely credit cards.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Hmmm, take one guess! :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
I don't listen to new music much, really, but J introduced me to a song that is "our" song, now - You and Me, by Alice Cooper.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? about the same
c) richer or poorer? Poorer, sadly

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading. I don't read nearly enough anymore. But to find time to read, I would have to give up Sims time and/or other things I don't want to give up. So really, I guess I need to get better at balancing my free time activities.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Um...
I can't think of anything, really.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Getting engaged, then we went to J's family's house to open presents and have dinner, then we went to my sister's house to see all of her family, show off my ring and have dessert.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I was already falling in love when 2007 started, and I fell more and more in love with every day that passed since.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
We watched a lot of good ones before the strike started and we ran out of new episodes, but I think my favorite is one I watched by myself, online - Kid Nation. It sounded like a stupid show, but I got pulled in by the kids. Some of them were so great, and some of them were a huge pain, but mostly they were just kids having fun without their parents around. It was more compelling than it should have been.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. One guy at work gets on my nerves big time, but I don't hate him or anyone else.

24. What was the best book you read?
Um, I don't remember? See the answer somewhere above about my not reading enough.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Did I discover Wolfmother in 2007? If so, I'll say them. If not, then no one.

26. What did you want and get?
My engagement ring. :) Sorry if you're getting sick of this type of answer, but it's the biggest thing in my life right now.

27. What did you want and not get?
I can't think of anything. Other than that million dollar winning lottery ticket.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I just watched two on DVD that I loved - Hairspray and Waitress.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 38 this year. What did I do? I spent it with J, eating chocolate cake and enjoying a day off from work. I never work on my birthday.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Nothing that I can think of. I had a great year.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Um, personal fashion concept? Don't make me laugh. I wear pants and comfortable shirts to work, and jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts at home. :)

32. What kept you sane?
My family, my friends, my animals and of course J.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't fancy celebrities or public figures.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Uh...I don't pay attention to politics, either. :) If it counts, I think the writers should get the money they're looking for, and I can't believe how cheap the networks et al. are being.

35. Who did you miss?
My mother, now and forever.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't remember meeting anyone new, really. I'm glad to have gotten the chance to get to know my great-niece and great-nephew a bit more, though. They're adorable kids.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Sometimes dreams do come true, if you only open yourself up to the possibility.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
When I get home from work,
I wanna wrap myself around you.
I wanna take you and squeeze you
Til the passion starts to rise.

I wanna take you to heaven.
That would make my day complete.

But you and me ain't no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
some lovin',
and TV, yeah.
And that's enough for a workin' man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, babe,
well that's enough for me.

Sometimes when you're asleep
and I'm just starin' at the ceiling,
I wanna reach out and touch you,
but you just go on dreamin'.

If I could take you to heaven,
that would make my day complete.

But you and me ain't no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
some lovin',
and TV, yeah.
That's enough for a workin' man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, sweetheart
that's just enough for me.

You and me ain't no super stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
some popcorn,
and TV, yeah.
And that's enough for a workin' man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, babe,
you're just enough for me.

When I get home from work,
I wanna wrap myself around you.
I like to hold you squeeze you
Til the passion starts to rise.

I wanna take you to heaven.
That would make my day complete.

You and me ain't no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
of lovin',
and TV, yeah.
And that's enough for a workin' man.
What I am well that's what I am.
I tell you, baby,
that's just enough for me.

My and J's song - You and Me, by Alice Cooper. It sums us up nicely.

Late Night Posting is a Bad Idea

There is a reason I don't usually write entries on weekends. They're boring! :) I didn't do much today. J and I tried to sleep in, but Willow woke us up, first asking to go out, then asking to go out followed by puking noises. What a fun sound to wake up to on a Sunday morning! So sleeping in didn't really happen. Then we had breakfast (I made him a ham and cheese omelet, which he said he enjoyed - it was only the second real omelet I've ever made)and took our showers, and then we got to work. We managed to have some down time for ourselves (playing the Sims and crocheting for me, watching and listening to football for J), but we also managed to: do the dishes, do three loads of laundry, pick stuff up, take down some of the outside Christmas lights, move some snow fence to cover the corner by the garage, pick up dog poop from the yard and get ready for work tomorrow. If you know me, and you look at that list, you can tell which of us did which of those activities. :)

So it was a quiet day, in which a lot was actually accomplished, so it was nice. And now it's 10:07 at night, and J is in bed, preparing for getting up for work at 4:30, and the dogs and cats are all sleeping, so it is super quiet in here. It's nice. It kind of makes me wish I was still a night owl, so that I could enjoy this quiet every night. Usually I'm in bed by now, though. I would be tonight, if I had to work tomorrow. But I still get two more days off, so going to bed early can wait for Tuesday night.

And suddenly tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and 2007 is almost over. It was a very good year for me, for the most part. I've been more broke than I have been in a very long time, due to some unexpected bills that kind of came one after the other, but I also fell in love, and that love has grown deeper with every passing day. J calls me a sucker, but I call myself lucky. I'll write more about 2007 tomorrow, but for now I just want to say that I am very grateful. My life was so empty, and now it is so full. I have a house full of animals, which can be incredibly hectic, but I love them all. And I have a man who is no more perfect than I am, yet somehow we're perfect together. I make up for his faults, he makes up for mine, and we love each other with the kind of love I used to only read about. I'm incredibly lucky.

And now I've gotten all sappy, so I'll end this here. It is obviously time for me to go to bed. :) Good night!

Sims and Football? Weird

Wow, my Internet is slow tonight. I've been waiting for eight minutes for this page to finish loading, and it's still not all the way there. I'm typing anyway - we'll see if it works.

I was playing the Sims tonight, and I try not to talk about the Sims here, for fear of boring all of you, but this was so freaking funny. I was playing a college student who graduated, and when Sims graduate, they grow up and change into adult clothes. The choice of clothing is completely random and picked by the game. This is what he grew up into:



I started laughing out loud, so much that J was wondering what the heck was going on. I couldn't help laughing, though. Could you?

So today was a nice, quiet day. I got up and took the recycling to the dump, with Bernie as my passenger. Then I came home and played the Sims most of the day, plus vacuuming. I still need to dust, but mostly the house is in good shape, so I feel good about it. Then J got home, and we've been hanging out ever since. He's even got me watching football with him tonight. He HATES the Patriots, and wants them to lose a game this season more than almost anything. Well, the Giants are beating them (so far), and I'm actually halfway paying attention. Am I turning into a football fan? Hmm. I think it's way too soon to say that, but oh man, I'm starting to learn a little bit more about it. It's weird. I'm not saying I'm going to turn all rabid football fan anytime soon, but I just never expected to care at all, and yet here I am, hoping that the Giants win just so the Patriots won't have a chance for that perfect season. I almost don't recognize myself. :)

And okay, it's been eight minutes since I started typing this, and the page still hasn't finished loading. Do I have any shot of getting this post online? Or of ever getting that picture added to the post? I have no idea. Sigh. I need to call my Internet provider - we've been losing connection a lot lately, and now I'm dealing with speeds slower than dial-up, and I have DSL. It's insane.

More Productive

I had a much more productive day today, I'm happy to say. I managed to do a few things around the house, like cleaning the couch cover and blanket and doing the dishes, and I called to order us some fuel oil and I called the dentist's office to clear up a billing mix-up (they billed the insurance I had at a job I left four years ago). And I watched a Netflix movie so that I could send it back (Knocked Up, which was pretty good, surprisingly), and I watched another movie that my sister lent to me (Catch and Release). So, I wasn't quite slug-like today. :)

And I was working on the baby blanket when J got home, so I even managed to do a little bit of work on that. Woo! Of course, the baby was born yesterday, so I'm already late with it. Sigh. I'll get it done soon, though, I swear.

Oh, and the baby is a girl, she's doing fine and so is her Mother, I'm glad to say. And my sister was supposed to e-mail me a picture today, but she didn't. Hmmph.

And now I think I'm off to bed early, because for some reason I'm feeling very tired. So. Night!

Whole Lotta Nothing Going On

I hardly did anything of value today at all. I got up at 7:00 to let the dogs out and in and feed them, and then I went back to bed. :) I stayed there until almost 9:00. When I got up I had a bit of a headache from being in bed too long, but it was so worth it. I loved every minute I spent in that bed this morning. Sleeping in on a Thursday is a very good thing indeed.

Once I got up, I started playing the Sims, and that's what I did all day. Well, I also did two loads of laundry, and I made myself lunch and made omelettes for me and J for dinner, but those are the only productive things I did all day. I didn't even touch the baby blanket that I'm making, and that baby is due on Monday. Yeah. I need to get that done. Sigh. I'll work on it tomorrow.

J worked this morning - he had to be in at 2:30 in the morning. He has the suckiest schedule - I really feel for him. He got home around lunchtime, but of course he went to bed for a while, and then he got up and did some stuff, and then he went to bed again. So I only got to follow him around the house for a few hours. :) I'm only partly kidding with that, too. It's nice to have a day at home to just play the Sims sometimes, but it can also be a lonely kind of thing. So when I have human company (in addition to the canine and feline company that I always have), I tend to want to make the most of it.

Anyway. That's what went on here today, along with a lot of kitty sneezing. Zelda had a cold last week, and she passed it on to Sable, who has it now. I think Gracie might have it, too, but I'm not sure. I'm hoping it doesn't hit all five cats before it is done, and at the same time I'm thankful that kitty colds don't seem to be contagious to anyone other than other cats (or so says the info I've found online). The dogs, J and I should be safe from it. Whew! And the cats don't seem to suffer much - they just sneeze a bit. Not too bad, as colds go.

And now my day of doing nothing is almost over, as I'll be going to bed soon, but first I'm going to watch another episode of Pushing Daisies that was stored on the DVR. Man, I hope they settle that writer's strike soon. The writers deserve more money, and I want my good shows to come back with original episodes.

And that's it from me for now. Good night, everyone!

(Oh, and did I mention that I'm engaged? I did? Oh yeah. :) I'm still getting used to the fact, myself. I keep looking at the ring, surprised that it's there. But at the same time? It looks so right there, like it's belonged there all along.)

So Happy

I'm still kind of reeling at the engagement. It doesn't feel quite real, yet. But somehow, the ring feels totally at home on my finger. :) I'm so happy.

So, I told you about getting engaged, but I didn't tell you the rest of the story, did I? Well, he proposed, and I started to cry, I was so happy. I have waited 38 years for that moment, and I honestly had gotten to a point when I met J that I never thought it was going to happen. I was prepared to be single for the rest of my life. I wasn't happy about it, but I was prepared for it. And then I met him, and I worked through my relationship issues, and we've spent the last year together, getting more and more comfortable with each other, and falling more and more in love. And now my ring is on my finger, as a symbol of that love and our commitment to each other.

It's funny, really - I don't really feel any sort of rush to get married at all - we're going to wait at least a couple of years, and I'm really fine with that. But I wanted this engagement more than I can say. I wanted this physical sign of his love for me, sitting here on my finger, as a sign to the world and to myself that there really is someone who loves me enough to spend the rest of his life with me. I wanted it more than anything. And now it's here. I've cried multiple times in happiness. I keep looking at it when I'm doing other things - driving the car, typing on the computer, washing my hands, playing the Sims - anything and everything.

I'm just so happy to have J in my life. I'm so happy that I found the person who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I thought it was too late for me, but it wasn't, because here he is. I couldn't be happier.

I just wish my Mom were here to see it.

All I Want for Christmas Is...

J and I exchanged gifts when we got up this morning. My last present contained this:



Nice, right? It's a tacky tree that I helped him pick out at the dollar store. He told me it was for a driver at work. Inside the package with it was an index card that said this: "Stupid, tacky tree. Not what you were expecting, huh? Well why not look in the dryer?!?"

So I go to the bathroom and open the dryer door and find another index card. This one said, "Nothing in here...why not go look at your desk."

As you may have guessed, there was another index card on my desk. This one said "Nothing here either...go back to the bedroom."

There I found this:



And inside the box was this:



Sorry for the bad picture - my camera isn't very good at macro photography. But it's good enough to show you that I am now engaged! :) It was a VERY nice Christmas.

Cookies and Gifts

Merry Christmas Eve!

Today we slept in, as well as the dogs will let us. I wish I could record the sound of Willow's tail in the morning, to share with you. She decides it's time to go outside, and she comes over to my side of the bed and starts wagging her tail. It hits the dresser and then the nightstand, and then the dresser and then the nightstand. Repeat until one of us finally gets out of bed to let the dogs out. :) Silly Willow.

Today was a relaxing one. I baked cookies today - peanut butter blossoms for J and to take to my sister's house tomorrow, and soft gingerbread cookies for me. Yum. I did that and played the Sims a little, and we hung out together. And then this evening we went to Long John Silver's for dinner (a new tradition for us, since we've done it two years in a row) and then to J's Aunt's house for their annual get together. It was fun - he has a nice family. And I got one gift from J - a new wireless mouse for my desktop, which I'm using on my laptop right now, and I love it. And J's Aunt got me a set of sugar cookie scented body stuff - lotion and body wash. It was a nice evening.

And now we're home, and watching A Christmas Story on TV. I love this movie - I can't believe I only discovered it two years ago.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve Eve

What a good day it's been! Today J and I hung around the house and relaxed, and it was so nice. I got some time in for my Sims game - finishing up what I needed for the next update and getting it online. J watched some football (the Dolphins made him sad again, sigh). We tried to watch Superbad, but it was, well, super bad. So we shut it off partway through. Horrible. We're just too old for it, I think. And we just finished watching Scrooged, which I have always enjoyed, and haven't seen in years. And we watched it on a VHS tape! They feel like ancient technology now, somehow - he has to rewind the tape! :)

We opened a couple more presents today, too. :) J thought he knew what one small package was that I had for him, and I knew what a larger package was that he had for me, so we opened them. I got a set of really nice large mixing bowls - I mean, really nice. These things are amazing. I heart them a lot. (Mine are the white ones.) And he got a new pocket knife (which is what he thought it was, so we were both right). I love Christmas.

And mostly we've enjoyed being together all day. I think we enjoy and appreciate each other every day of the year, but it feels especially true when it's almost Christmas.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. We'll be hanging around the house again in the morning, and we'll be going to his Aunt's house for their annual get together in the evening. And of course, tomorrow night Santa comes and fills our stockings. :) I so love this time of year.

Ornament

J's mother asked all of the family to make an ornament for their family tree this year. I looked up Christmas ornament patterns online and found a site that had a pattern for a crocheted dolphin ornament, holding a wreath. Well, given the fact that J is a Dolphins football fan, that was the one we had to make, and of course in a color close to the Dolphin's blue/green. :) It took me an hour and a half or so to finish, and this is the finished product. Not bad, huh? I think it's cute, anyway. Of course, I got super glue all over my fingers trying to glue the eyes on, but oh well. I didn't glue my fingers together, and I didn't glue the eyes to the tips of my fingers, so I consider it a success.

I was going to stay at work until 5:15 yesterday to finish making up time from going to the dentist on Thursday, but I was ready to get out of there by 3:00, so I said screw it. Forty-five minutes doesn't add up to much money anyway, so whatever. I left at 4:30, on time. :) And now I am on vacation until January 2nd. Woo! I love Christmas break.

I still have to call my sister to see when everything is happening at their house for Christmas. I think we're going to J's parents' house in the morning, so we'll be at Donna's in the afternoon. Which is good - we'll get to see everyone, which is always nice.

And okay, now I'm off. We have cleaning to do and laundry to do and movies to watch. Later, gators!

Important Announcement

I have an important announcement: for the first time in six years - SIX YEARS! - I can chew hard things on the right side of my mouth.

WOO!!!!!!!

It's so exciting, you have no idea. It even makes the pain and torture of the dentist chair worth it. Thanks, dentist, you sadist you!

Also, I'm completely wired right now, and I have no idea why - I haven't even had a soda. So I don't know where it's coming from, but I'm bouncing around in my chair, all full of energy and sick of sitting still. I expect I'll crash somewhere around 1:00, once my belly is full of lunch. :)

Today is also the last day of work for me for the year. Yay! What's even better is that J is supposed to have the next four days off as well, if things don't change, and I hope they don't. I look forward to four days with him, hanging out watching movies for the first couple (we have a lot of Christmas movies to watch) and doing family Christmas stuff on the third and fourth days. It'll be nice. If his schedule doesn't change. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

And once Christmas is over, I will have a bunch of days to stay home with the animals. I'll clean and crochet and most of all I'll play the Sims, and I cannot wait. I know it's horrible that I'm so addicted to a game, but oh man am I ever. I want to get a Christmas update of my legacy out by the 24th. We'll see if I make it. :)

Okay, I'm off to go fold brochures and print pictures for work. Have a great Friday, everyone!

Root Canal Part Two

I was awake this morning just before 5:00, and never got back to sleep, so I went ahead and got up, and was in town quite a bit early for my dentist appointment. Which is fine - better early than late, right?

So I got there and they took me back, and all they had to do was fill the canals of my tooth, so I was hoping to be out of there in half an hour or so. Ha! I am so naive sometimes. I was there for an hour and a half. Sigh. My jaw was killing me by the time they were done, too. They put that black wedge/block thing between my teeth to hold my jaw open, which is fine, except I have a small mouth, and it doesn't open all that far. So they force the left side open enough to put this between then, and then the right side of my jaw gets all achy. Sigh. I really hate going to the dentist. Anyway, by the time he was done filling it, my jaw was screaming, it hurt so bad.

And the filling procedure was way different than I would have expected. Small cones of filling, that he warmed up to melt them, using a little heat device in my mouth - which he managed to burn my lip with at one point. Fun! I wasn't far off when I called him a sadist, I think. Of course, I'm sure he's a very nice guy, and dentists don't deserve to be hated, and blah, blah, blah. All I know is I hate going to see him.


But now it's done, and hopefully my tooth will be fine now. I hope. I really do hope. I don't want to go back again for a very long time. Sigh. Dentists suck.

Timed Entry

I have ten minutes before I'll be in my car starting to head home (well, to the gas station and then home), so let's see how much I can write in the next, what, five minutes? Ready, set, go!

I got into work this morning at 7:00. That should just not be legal. I had to do it, though - I was still making up the time that I lost going to the dentist on Monday. It's not bad enough I get tortured by the dentist, then I also have to make up time at work! All the more reason to hate going. And I get to go back tomorrow morning to have the job finished (sigh), so I'll have at least another hour to make up. Fun! Or not.

(Two minutes down, three to go...)

Last night for some reason Willow was very nice. She usually growls most of the time, especially whenever Rosebud is around, but last night she was actually quiet for most of the evening! It was a Tuesday night miracle. :) She even sniffed Duff all quietly and calmly, and he licked her face! Aww, they're starting to get along! It's only taken, what, five months? Of course, she's always liked Duff - she hates Rosebud, though. Poor Budder. I don't think that relationship is ever getting any better.

(One more minute to go...)

And on that note, since I have nothing to say (49 straight days of updating will do that to a person), I'm going to sign off. I hope you all are having a great week before Christmas!

Dental Haikus

An exercise in
haikus, to explain dental
visit yesterday.

(Oh please do enjoy,
I just can't do prose today
so haikus must do.)

*****

Dear Dentist (sadist)
Why is it so cold in here?
Need to pay for heat

You popped off my crown
And drilled into my tooth roots
Oh I hate dentists

Wedge between my teeth
All in the name of torture
Making my jaw hurt

My mouth fills with spit
Can’t swallow, have to gurgle
Can I go home now?

The drilling is done
But too much time has gone by
Second trip to come

My face numb, I leave
I’m shaking and shivering
From nerves and the cold

I get home to J
The driveway all clear, snowblown
Want kiss, can’t pucker

Dear Dentist (sadist)
Do you hate going to see
Your own dentist too?

Scattered

Yesterday morning when I got up, I let the dogs out and in, scooped the cat litter, fed the dogs and went to give the cats their morning treats, as usual. Well, four of the five cats were happy to have them, but Sable was nowhere to be found. And she is a treat whore, so this was very unusual. I called for her and heard a faint meowing, but couldn't tell where she was. She wasn't in any of the rooms upstairs, she wasn't in the garage - so I went down to the basement, and there she was. Silly kitty! I didn't know how she had gotten down there, since neither J nor I had opened the basement door at all, and then I realized. Saturday morning when I was taking the recycling out to my car so that I could take it to the dump, I left the back door open for a couple of minutes. She must have gotten out into the garage, and then when it got cold, she found her way into the basement. She's at least smart enough not to let herself freeze to death, thank goodness. Sorry for the picture being so dark, but it shows her back where she belongs - inside, where it's comfortable and warm! :)

Once the kitty drama was over, I went into the bathroom, and found that the pipes were frozen. Sigh. The wind was blowing at the bathroom side of the house, and it found the pipes and froze them solid. We had water in the tub, but not in the bathroom or kitchen sinks and not in the toilet. Fun! J went downstairs later with my hair dryer and thawed them out.

He also spent a good amount of time yesterday cleaning the driveway, because of the nor'easter we got. Lovely! I hate winter, I really do. I thanked him by making him filet mignons and mashed potatoes for dinner. Yum. It was very good.

Today is the day that I have to get my root canal. :( I am NOT looking forward to this. I was kind of proud of the fact that I had never had to have one, and now I won't be able to say that anymore. I swear, if I could, I would go back in time and slap the 5 year old me upside the head, and tell her to brush her freaking teeth, already! Because the large fillings and the problems they bring down the road are not worth getting something over on Mom. Geez. Stupid kid, I was.

But in better news, two of the presents I ordered last week are going to be here today, woo! So J, if you get the mail and see a package in there for me, don't get too snoopy. :)

Oh, speaking of presents, I had a book wrapped under our tree for J, and it was KILLING him that he didn't know what it was, so he made me a deal. He got to open his book, and I got to open a CD that he got for me. I said okay, because what's not to love about an early present? I got the new KT Tunstall CD, which I love. Thank you, J! And I think he was happy with his book. :)

And now it's only a week and a day until Christmas, and I only have to work this week, and then I'm on break. Yay! I'm going to enjoy the break. I just wish J were able to be there everyday with me, like he was last year, but of course he'll have to work this year. Oh well. I'll still get to spend a lot of time with him, so it's good. And yes, I am very mushy about our relationship at this time of year. :) I love him, and am happy to have him, and sometimes that spills out. We're lucky to have found each other. And there ends another scattered entry from me. Happy Monday!

Football Fan by Default

I have never been a football fan. In high school when my friends and I would go to the games, it would be to scope out the student population - we walked around the field the whole time for most of the games. I've never followed professional football at all. But now I live with a diehard Dolphins fan, so I've become a Dolphins fan by default. I still don't really understand the game at all, but at least now I know that field goals exist, so I'm getting better. So being a Dolphins fan by default, I've been following the season enough to know that they were reaching the end of the season, and hadn't won a single game. J, the true Dolphins fan in the house, was more and more upset by his team. Every game they would get his hopes up, only to screw up somehow and lose the game. I was sad for him.

And then today came. He was in the basement listening to the game on satellite radio, and I was upstairs playing the Sims and monitoring the score on ESPN's website. The game came right down to the end with the Dolphins in the lead by three, but then the other team tied it up and they went into overtime. And somehow, due to a missed field goal by Baltimore and a great touchdown by Miami, they won. I was so happy for my J.

I have never been as involved in the score of a football game as I was in this one. And they won! Go 'Phins!

Cute Pictures and Other News

The other night when J and I were sitting in the living room, the dogs were having a very hard time with the fact that they are no longer allowed on the futon. So he showed Rosebud and Duff that they could get on the recliner. Of course, there were cats sleeping on the chair at the time, as there almost always are, so much cuteness followed.

Also, Willow and Bernie were sleeping on the same dog bed, which NEVER happens, so I had to take a picture of that, too. :)

So, today was Mabel's funeral. I decided not to go, because I just couldn't face it - it was hard enough facing the calling hours. As a matter of fact, I almost didn't even make it to the calling hours. I left work at Noon yesterday so that I could come home and pick up J, and we could go to the calling hours between 2 and 4. But our Internet was out, and there was supposed to be a technician coming over to fix it, so we were waiting. And waiting, and waiting, because they never showed. J offered to stay here and wait, and I could go alone and then come back to get him. And I didn't want to. I had a bit of a temper tantrum, and then I started to cry, and I realized that I didn't want to go because it was in the same funeral home where my Mother's calling hours and funeral were held, and I hadn't been there since. I kind of couldn't face it. At least not alone. So I called and found out that the technician wasn't going to be coming to the house, so J was able to go with me. And with his help, I made it through. I made it into the building, I made it past Wayne's family, who hasn't been much of a family to me (I'm really glad I never have to see them again, frankly), I made it past the casket (Mabel didn't look like herself at all), I made it through talking to family members that I do like and then I made it back out the door. But only because J was beside me, holding my hand. Thank you, J.

Anyway, so last night my sister called me, and I told her that I wasn't going to the funeral - the calling hours were bad enough, and I don't need anymore closure about her death. And she said that she wasn't going to be able to go, because she is babysitting her grandson (Michelle's son), and there wasn't anyone to watch him during the funeral. So I offered to go over and sit with him so she could go, which I think she was very grateful for. I went over this afternoon, after the quickest Christmas shopping trip through Walmart in recorded history, and I sat on the couch and watched TV and crocheted for an hour and a half while Sammy slept. It was the easiest babysitting job in history. :)

And now I guess I've written enough for one night, so I'm going to say good-bye. Bye!

Duckie and snowflake and visiting hours, yuck

It's a good thing I posted my entry from work yesterday, because the Internet at our house wasn't working, for some reason. I think the modem is broken, I'm not sure. I spent an hour on the phone with the tech guy, only to have him say that he has to send a technician out. They're supposed to be there between 8 and Noon this morning. I hope they can get it fixed - I feel so cut off from the world when I can't jump on the Internet to find who starred in what, or where I know that person in that show from, or whatever.

I will be leaving work early today, to go to Mabel's calling hours. I'm going to go home and pick up J, and then we're going to go, pay our respects, and get the heck out. I hate funeral homes. And I've decided to skip the funeral tomorrow. It's enough that I go to the calling hours, I think. Besides, it's supposed to be snowy all weekend, so I'd rather just stay home, safe and warm in my house. Mabel will understand, I'm sure.

See that picture? The duckie ornament is my first Secret Santa gift of the year. Cute, right? I like it a lot. Oh, and the bell next to it isn't part of it - it's my jingle bell earring, which is being used as a hook to attach it to the snowflake, which is hanging over my desk. The snowflake was a gift, too - we all got them. Cute.

I took some really cute pictures of the critters last night, which were going to be my entry for today, but I forgot to bring my camera with me. D'oh! Oh well. You'll see them tomorrow, assuming they get the Internet working at my house again.

Well, I seem to be talked out. Not very chatty today, huh? Sorry. I'll get more chatty again once this whole calling hours business is over with. I'm just not looking forward to seeing Mabel in the casket, assuming it's open. Sigh. Oh well, I'll live. And tomorrow you'll get a better entry! Or silence, if my Internet isn't fixed. :) Have a good Friday, everyone.

p.s. I hate blogger, sometimes. Why does it completely forget how to do spaces between paragraphs when there is a picture in the post? Why? Why???????

Funerals Schmunerals

I still hadn't heard anything from my sister on when the calling hours and funeral were going to be for Mabel, so I just went online and found her obituary. Her calling hours are tomorrow from 2-4 and 7-9, and the funeral is Saturday at 1:00. But here is the thing. I don't mind going to the calling hours tomorrow afternoon, mostly because I'll have J with me, but I don't want to go to the funeral!!

Does that make me the most horrible person in the world? I mean, she was my step-grandmother, I should go. But I don't want to. I want to just go to Walmart on Saturday morning to get the last of my Christmas shopping done, and then I want to go home and stay there. No funeral. Funerals are bad. I don't want to go.

And even if I force myself to go to the funeral, I'm NOT going to the cemetery afterwards. No thank you very much. Sigh. Why do people have to die? I don't like this, Sam I am. I don't like this at all.

Christmas Mystery

Today I was having lunch with Jen and Jamie, and of course since the holidays are right around the corner, we got talking about gifts. I told them that J told me that most of the gifts he got me won't fit under our small bedroom tree. This comment of course made me all curious about what he might have gotten me, and the realization of that curiosity got me thinking about the mystery of gifts in general. Because to me, that's what makes them special - the mystery.

Think back to when you were a kid. It's Christmas Eve, and you're so excited about the next day you can hardly stand it. It's the one night of the year that your parents can get you to go to bed early without your putting up a fight. You WANT to go to bed early, because Santa won't come until you're asleep. So you go to bed, and you lay there with your sheet pulled up to your chin, and you squeeze your eyes tightly together, and you wait for sleep to come. In your head you start imagining all of the things that could be waiting for you under the tree the next morning. From the small things like new toy trucks and Matchbox cars to large things like new bicycles or sleds or doll houses. Every year there was one present you particularly wanted, and you might even go to sleep that night praying for it. "Please, God, let Santa bring me that shiny red bike with the banana seat and the handlebar streamers. Oh, and if it has a basket with a flower on the front, that would be pretty cool, too. Oh! And a horn! Yeah, that would be neat."

The next morning, you're awake hours before the sun is due to come up. You look over at your clock, and it's only 4:30. You know if you go into your parents' room before 5:00, they'll kill you. So you either continue to lay there, wide awake now and about to bust with the anticipation of all of the gifts that are surely waiting for you under the tree, or, if you're a little less well behaved than I was, you sneak out to look at all of the presents, and find all of the ones that are for you. You lift them up and you feel them and you shake them, and you make guesses as to what they might hold. You put them back down without opening them, because you really don't want your parents to kill you on Christmas morning, but the suspense is killing you. Finally, 5:00 comes, and you can't take it any longer, so you sneak into your parents' room. What you don't know is that your poor parents were probably up until 3:00 in the morning putting stuff together, but even if you knew, you wouldn't care. You want to open stuff up! So you wake them. They look at you through bleary eyes, and tell you that okay, we can go open gifts now.

And then there it is - the moment you have been waiting for ever since your parents started shopping and being good for Santa became an important thing. You get to open all of your gifts! The array of shiny wrapped packages in front of you is almost overwhelming. You pick the one you think might be your most anticipated gift, and you tear into that one first (unless your parents make you wait on that one, like mine did). Before you know it, you have a pile of ripped up wrapping paper next to you, along with your pile of gifts. You ignore the clothes and practical gifts, and start playing with your toys, zipping from one to another, not even sure what to play with first.

For you, the holiday is now pretty much over. Christmas dinner doesn't really mean anything to you - for you, it was all about the gifts. And why? Because of the mystery! Those packages could have held the secrets to the universe, they had so much potential.

I went through a phase as a kid when I snooped and tried to find out what all of my gifts were before the big day, but then I figured it out. You have to make the anticipation last. If there's no mystery, the day is just another one, only with a lot of faked excitment thrown in. Christmas gifts are all about the mystery, baby. And I'm going to enjoy the mystery of my gifts as much as I can between now and December 25th. :) But now that I'm an adult, I also get to try to build the mystery about what I got for other people. It brings a whole new level of enjoyment to the mystery of Christmas.

Tree Pics

As promised (I think) - pictures of my trees! The living room tree is lit up and pretty. :) I love having the tree up, I really do. It makes the house happier.

I went to my sister's house for dinner last night, and found out a little bit about what's going to go on this weekend with the calling hours/funeral for Mabel. I have to go to calling hours on Friday afternoon, and then the funeral (if they can bury her - if the ground is too frozen, they won't be able to) will be on Saturday sometime. She didn't know the times, yet, but I'll find them out at some point. I'm NOT looking forward to this. I know I'm not alone in this, but I hate funerals.

It wasn't all sad talk while I was there, though. My great-niece Ava has apparently decided that she likes me, finally. She's only been living here for a couple of years, so it took her long enough. :) We were eating chicken nuggets together, because I couldn't eat the creamed ham that my sister was making (the dairy thing), and she slid up onto the table on her belly and was talking to me, only inches away from my face. It was cute. She was asking me about my house, if it was the same as her Mommy's. I told her no, and that she should come to see my house someday, and I would put the big, noisy dogs into the mudroom, and she could see the house and my kitties. She liked that idea. She's cute.

I got three Netflix movies in the mail today - Hairspray, Superbad and Elf. I've seen the last one, but J hadn't, so I got it for us both to watch. I think we're in for some good DVD time soon. I'll watch Hairspray by myself, though. It's not really J's kind of movie. :)

See that picture over there? My Flounder, and J's Sebastian. So cute! :)

This is a smiley sort of entry, isn't it? Which is good. Better to be smiley than not.

Okay, I guess that's all I have for now, so I'll leave you with a picture of our bedroom tree. His precious ornaments, and mine, all together on one small tree. I love having the tree in our bedroom. It's fun.


Edited to add: I love Hairspray! I just finished watching it, and I immediately added it to my amazon.com wishlist. Love! I want to watch it again, and I think I would if I didn't have to get up for work tomorrow. :)

Christmas Shopping

I had to go to the campus store for something work related today, and while I was there, I did a little shopping. :) I got all of the stuff for my Secret Santa except for one day's gift, but I'm just going to get her a candy bar, and can pick that up this weekend. I also got some stocking stuffers for J. Yay! I love buying Christmas presents. These are just little things, but he'll like them, and they're not candy, which is good. Last year we had just been going out for a couple of months when Christmas came around, so when we did stockings for each other, they were just filled with candy, since we didn't really know what the other person liked. This year I was able to buy him other stuff, which feels nice.

Of course, this whole holiday feels different this year. Our relationship last year was so new, and still rather fragile. Now it's more solid, and we've been together a whole year longer. We know each other way better, we love each other way more. Our holiday decorations are mixing together, and it all feels more special. But I already wrote about that the other day, so I'll stop.

Tonight I am going to my sister's house for dinner, which I'm looking forward to. I didn't go last week because of my toothache, and next week I won't be able to go because I'll be having my root canal, and the week after that is Christmas. So this is the last regular Monday night dinner until after the New Year.

I'm not sure what J and I are doing for the holiday as far as going to our families' houses is concerned. I think we're going to try to split the day, spending half at each place. Which seems like a good compromise. It'll be a busy day, but a good one.

I'm really looking forward to the holiday, too. I have a few more presents to buy, and then I'll be done shopping. I'm not getting anyone very much this year, because I'm kind of broke, but what I'm buying is all good stuff that I think they'll really like, so it's still good. It's going to be a good Christmas.

Sunday Good Day

Later than usual update today, because I don't really have much to say! It's been a quiet kind of day. I enjoyed it, though. J and I have had fun hanging out with each other, even though his football games disappointed him greatly. I got chapter 15 of my Sims story written and online, finally. And I got to play the game a bit, too. And when I got sick of doing that, I started watching House and working on the baby blanket that I have to finish in the next couple of weeks. (Gulp.)

Also, I just put a clean blanket and sheet on the futon, and then put the gate on it so that the dogs can't get on it and dirty it up, and Willow is looking at me all confused, like, "what the heck?" She's cute. :)

I'm kind of sad that tomorrow is Monday already, but not too much so, I guess. I only have two more weeks to work, and then I'm off for a week and a half for the holidays. So. It's not so bad. :) Even if I do have to have my root canal a week from tomorrow. (Double gulp.)

So after I wrote Friday's entry about Mabel dying, I was so sad all day! I'm really going to miss her. But J cheered me up, so I'm doing fine now.

And now I really am out of things to say. Sorry, but that's the downfall of writing every day for two months in a row - sometimes you just run out of topics. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. :)

Mixing Christmas Memories

Today J and I finally got around to decorating our tree. I had my box of ornaments, and he had his. This is our first year of living together for Christmas, so it's the first time our Christmas memories have mixed together on the tree. I pulled out an ornament that was my Mom's, he pulled out an ornament that has been in his family since he was one or two years old. His Peter Griffin mixed with my Frosty the Snowman, his Simpsons mixed with my Santa Clauses. And best of all, my Flounder from The Little Mermaid was joined by his Sebastian from the same movie. I have to admit, I got a little mushy - I had to go give him a hug in the middle of decorating.

And that was the big tree in the living room. We followed that up with the little tree in our bedroom. There were the ornaments we bought each other last year - his marshmallows (one me, one him) with the date on it, that he gave me, my Christmas tree that says our first Christmas, that I gave to him. And there are a couple of Grinch ornaments and a couple of bells (everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!), and some precious ones from our past that we don't want to risk in a room where four dogs and five cats roam at all times of the day. The one my Mom gave me when I was in my 20s, the ones his parents gave to him.

Our Christmas ornaments and decorations are mixing together for the first time, and I have to say that I love every bit of it. Christmas has finally come to our house. It's fantastic.

Memories of Mabel

When I got home last night, I had a message on my answering machine from my sister, telling me that Mabel had died. Mabel was my step-grandmother, for lack of any better way of saying that. She was my step-father’s mother. But really, I grew up knowing her as my grandmother (although I always called her Mabel, just as I always called my step-father Wayne), so I usually skip the “step” part of that title.

This message was not completely unexpected – Mabel was 94 years old, I believe, and had been sick for a long time. Plus I think she has wanted to die for a long time. A very religious woman, she was more than ready to go meet her maker, so to speak. And to see her son again. She never really got over his death in 1993. I was sad when I heard the news, but not overly. I didn’t cry, I didn’t feel any great loss. I hope that doesn’t make me sound cold – I loved her completely – she was always my second grandma (I never knew my paternal grandmother). But I hadn’t seen her in about three years, I think, because she has been living in South Carolina with her other son, so she hasn’t been a daily part of my life for a long time.

So no, I’m not really grieving for the 94 year old woman, who had lived a full life and was ready to die. I am, however, grieving for the woman I grew up with. I hope you don’t mind if I tell you about her.

Just as I don’t really remember a time in my life before Wayne was there, I also don’t remember a time before Mabel was there. When I was a little kid, my parents weren’t at all religious (a fact that never changed), so Mabel took me to her church for bible school. I remember her coming to pick me up, in her little car, and driving me over there way more clearly than I remember what they taught us in church.

After Mom, Wayne and I moved to Virginia, our visits with Mabel became a two or three times a year thing. She would come down to visit us – she would fly in, because even then, she was already pretty old. We’d go to the little local airport and pick her up, and she’d stay with us for a few days. We’d take her to church on Sunday, and she would dress up in her polyester skirts and jackets. Her hair was always gray – although maybe there was some black mixed in when I was still little – and it was always short and curled close to her head. She wore glasses, and she had a few moles on her face, but you never saw a kinder face in your life.

And a couple of times a year, Mom, Wayne and I (and sometimes just Mom and I) would drive to New York to visit the family, and when we did, we always stayed with Mabel. She always lived in trailers, since I knew her; first a single wide and then, later, a double wide in the park across the street from the first one. She also always had dogs, and I remember her little mini-Collies (I know they have a real name, but I can’t think of it right now) jumping all over me and sleeping with me and laying on the couch with me when I was there. I remember very clearly the feeling of sleeping in one of her spare rooms, with the window open in the summer, and the sound of cars whooshing by on the road outside. She had a radio in this room, and I would try to find a good station in this town where I didn’t live at the time, but I never had much luck.

I remember she also used to like to do crafts. There were beading projects, where she would make plant hangers and wind chimes and just pretty things that served no purpose other than being pretty. She had a whole room for her craft projects, which had lots of plastic storage containers in it, full of beads and fun things. They really captured the imagination of the little girl I was at the time.

I remember that she was a horrible cook. She couldn’t even pop popcorn without burning it, but we ate whatever she made anyway.

She had an old manual typewriter when I was a kid. It was the kind that you had to press really hard on the keys in order for them to go down. It wasn’t electric.

She was a teacher before she retired, and in fact at one time actually taught in a little one room red schoolhouse. Can you imagine? I remember that she came to my school as a substitute teacher when I was in fifth grade, right as I was moving to Virginia. I remember being happy to move before she came to teach me, because I was embarrassed to have a family member teaching me.

I remember holiday meals at her house, with all of Wayne’s family around. I remember family reunions at her house, with those same people. I remember that once she asked me what I wanted of hers when she died. I was about, I don’t know, 12 at the time? I thought the idea of her dying was preposterous, and didn’t really want any of her stuff, so I told her that I would just take some knick-knack thing she had in the living room. I remember that when she was clearing out her house and getting ready to move to South Carolina with her son, she gave things to all of her relatives who were staying behind, including to my sister (who is married to her grandson – it sounds incestuous if you think about it too hard, but it really isn’t), but didn’t have anything set aside for me. I was hurt. This was the only time she ever hurt me. I didn’t care about getting her stuff, really, but I would have loved something in my house to remind me of her, and I was hurt that when she was dividing stuff up, she only thought of the people who were related to her by blood. I was only her son’s step-daughter, so I didn’t count. Which is wrong, because I know she loved me.

I remember that when Wayne died, there was a lot of friction between Mabel and my mother, with things said that shouldn’t have been, by two women who were mourning for the man they loved and hated to lose. I remember that when I saw her at the funeral, I hugged her and told her I loved her, and she had the happiest, and yet saddest sound in her voice when she hugged me tight to her and told me she loved me, too, and always would.

She was always short, but by the time I was in my 20s, she made me feel like an Amazon, towering over her. And I’m only 5’3”.

I remember lots of things about Mabel, but mostly I just remember how much I loved her. She is the last person from her generation in our family. My other grandparents are gone, and shoot, so are both of my parents. Now it’s just me and my siblings (plus a lot of Aunts, Uncles and cousins who I don’t know or just never see).

I love you, Mabel. I hope that heaven is everything you always thought it would be, and I hope you and Wayne are together again.

Shoot, now I’m almost crying. The memories end here.

Exhausted

I tell you what, I am a mess lately. Between the tooth thing, the scratch on my nose from running into the truck's mirror and a cut on the tip of my index finger that I got when washing dishes the other night (the knife was too dull to cut a pumpkin, but sharp enough to cut my finger), I am one big walking wound! It's not fun to be me, lately.

This infection really seems to be messing with me, too. I'm tired all the time! While I'm at work, while I'm at home, no matter what time of the day or night - I'm sleepy. Sigh. It's getting old. I don't know if it's the infection in my tooth or the antibiotics that's doing it, but either way, I'll be happy to get some energy back.

There is some good news, though. I got an e-mail from J earlier, and he has a three day weekend! Which is excellent. He deserves the rest - he works way too hard. And hey, if we both have all weekend off, maybe we can finally finish decorating our tree! He hasn't been there much, we've both been tired, and so the tree is still sitting there with just the lights on it, and about three or four random ornaments. It still looks nice at night, but it'll look even better with decorations on it.

And now it's almost time for me to go home, yay! So that's all for now. Bye!

Moment of Grace(lessness)

I came back from lunch yesterday with my work friend Jen. She had driven us to the other side of campus for our lunch, so we had to walk across the snowy parking lot to get back to our building. A delivery truck was parked in the exit of the lot, giving us only a narrow path to walk in the snow between the truck and the post next to it. Jen went first, and I followed behind her, my eyes on her feet, using the same steps she had just made to avoid slipping in the snow. I thought nothing of what I was doing, until "fwap!" I walked right into the truck's side mirror.

D'oh!

My glasses fell halway off my face, and my forehead and nose stung quite a bit. Not as much as my pride, though. Luckily I'm not too conceited, so I just laughed it off with Jen. Then I came back to my office, looked in a mirror to see that my nose was all dirty, and when I cleaned the dirt off, there was a small scratch on my nose underneath it.

My Mom used to call me Grace when I did things like this. Truthfully, I'm not very graceful at all, and am constantly walking into walls and door frames (the truck is a rare thing, though), so it's a good thing she's not still around - she would have had to change my name legally by now. :)

Stupid delivery trucks. It never would have happened if it weren't parked there!

Codeine Makes Me zzzzzzz

Well, I had my first experience with Tylenol with Codeine last night. I was in so much pain when I got home from work that I took one right after I got home. About an hour later, it didn't seem to be working very well, so I took another one. Within an hour of that time, I was almost falling asleep in my seat. Zzzzzz. Those things knock you out! I went to bed at 8:42 and slept until 6:40 this morning, with only a little interruption when J left for work at 3:00 (and gave me another one of those pills before he left, because my tooth was hurting so much again) and then an hour later while I waited for him to call to let me know that he made it to work okay (it was very snowy and messy out last night). Otherwise, though, I slept like a rock all night.

This morning I got up feeling okay, because the pill from 3:00 was still working, but by the time I got to work, I felt like crap again. My tooth was hurting, my head was hurting and I was nauseous. Yuck. I don't dare take the Tylenol with Codeine at work, so I popped three Advil, and a couple of hours later, I'm feeling much better. I don't expect it to last, but I'll take it while I have it.

I tell you what, though, if I had any extra vacation time coming to me, I would so have called in sick today. Laying in bed with the dogs around me and the TV on all day sounded SO appealing. Sigh. But I need all of the time I have coming for Christmas week, so no day off for me. But that's fine. I'll sit here and suffer and get paid for it. Of course, that's easy to say now that I'm feeling okay. :) My tune will change when I'm feeling crappy again, because the Advil has worn off and I'm feeling sick to my stomach again.

Dental News

I somehow lucked into getting a 10:30 dentist appointment this morning, so I left work at 10:00 and headed out. I drove through the snow and general winter crap, and got there just before 10:30. I had my cleaning, and was told that my teeth were very clean considering they hadn't been cleaned professionally since 2003, which made me happy. Of course, I have to work on flossing more, but the brushing is good. Once the dental hygienist was done torturing me with the x-ray plates and her little pick thing, the dentist came in, and long story short - I have to have a root canal.

Yuck.

I've never had a root canal before, so I'm not looking forward to this at all, but if it means I'll be able to get rid of this pain and eventually chew on the right side of my mouth again, then I'm happy with it. Assuming they're happy with payments, of course - the insurance only covers about half. Sigh. But I look forward to not having pain, and to being able to chew on that side of my mouth again, for the first time in something like five years, so whatever. Bring on the root canal. I'm ready.

Stupid tooth.

And in the meantime, I got a prescription for antibiotics, which should help the pain go away as they clear up whatever infection is in there, and a second prescription for Tylenol with Codeine. Which I've never had to take before, so I don't know what they'll do to me, other than take the pain away, but it can't hurt to have them in the house, even if I don't take them for this. Right? Right.

Heater Worship

Last night J and I were sitting on the futon watching TV, and I had my camera nearby, so I started taking a series of pictures that I call "Heater Worship." As background, you should know that we are nearly out of heating fuel, and the delivery truck isn't coming until Tuesday, so we're keeping the furnace down to about 52 degrees, and when we're home (and awake), we're supplementing with J's kerosene heater and a couple of small electric heaters. And even with those running all afternoon and evening, it was only about 60 in here last night, because it was very cold outside. So, without further ado, I present "Heater Worship."

Gracie and Kate sit in front of the heater, offering thanks for its warmth.

Zelda and Willow offer their thanks as well.

Kate comes back solo to offer some more thoughts on the benefits of the heater's warmth.

She is followed by Gracie, who just can't get enough of that sweet stuff (heat).

Also, in other news, I have a toothache. Sigh. The story is: back when I was working at SU (so between 1998 and 2003) I had an upper molar crowned, because the filling inside of it was so large that the tooth around it was breaking off. The dentist messed up the crown a few times, so that I had to keep going back for them to try to get it right, and they never really did. I have a crown in that fits okay, but I've never been able to chew anything at all hard on that side since it went in. They offered to replace it for free, but frankly, I hate dentists, I hate going to the dentist, and after all the time it took them to get this one in there, I wasn't anxious to go back and repeat the process.

Fast forward to now, and my tooth is feeling like there is a lot of pressure building up under the crown, and it's getting more and more painful. I'm going to be calling the dentist tomorrow to see when I can get in. I just hope they remember their offer to replace it for free, because I can NOT afford to pay half of the bill for fixing it, which would be what my insurance doesn't cover. Of course, there's always the possibility that my tooth is rotting under the crown, in which case maybe they'll just have to yank it. We'll see.

I hate dentists.

And now I'm going to go see if J is awake yet, and if not, I'm going to go worship the heater myself. Later, taters!

House Lights

J has lit up the outside of our house with Christmas lights! Festive and pretty, and here are some pictures so that you can see.
First and foremost, the most important - Homer with some d'oh-nuts. We love us some Homer Simpson.

To the left of the house, the Grinch and his dog, Max. I love the Grinch! And I always felt so bad for Max in the cartoon.

The front porch, with icicle lights, Homer and - you can barely see him in the background - Santa Claus climbing up our front porch wall!

The whole house, from the street. So pretty!

A blurry shot of the garage, the lit up light pole, with two penguins next to it (a Momma and her baby!), the Grinch and Max, and the lights on top of the garage.

Pretty, huh? I love them. Now all we have to do is decorate the tree that's been up for a week! :)